Why Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You: A Paranoid Pet Owner’s Manual
By Clare Chu
Length1h 30m
About this audiobook
Welcome to the shadowy world where your cat’s cuddle might be a reconnaissance mission. Here, each purr is suspect, every gift a warning, and the innocent act of sleeping on your keyboard? A strategic move in the silent battle for dominance. This isn’t just another day in your cozy, cat-dominated household—it’s an insight into the cunning mind behind those whiskers.
Discover the art of survival in a land where being ignored is a power play, and affection could be the prelude to an assassination attempt. Navigate the minefield of feline companionship where every adorable trait masks a calculated strategy for household control.
Arm yourself with the knowledge to decipher the murder stares and midnight zoomies of your fluffy overlord. It’s a world where paranoia meets reality, and love for your pet comes with a side of suspicion. Dive into the darkly humorous life of cohabitation with the cutest of predators, and remember: it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor, Science and Nature
Length1 hr 30 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateMar 21, 2024
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1Title Page
117. Psychological Warfare
21. Introduction: The Great Feline Conspiracy & Understanding Your Overlord
128. Protecting Yourself from Feline Assassination Attempts
32. Reading the Signs: Footnotes
13Booby-Trapping Your Home Against Cat Attacks
43. Territorial Takeovers
14Wearing Protective Gear to Avoid Scratches and Bites
54. Training the Human
15Training in Feline Self-Defense Techniques
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65. The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors
169. Negotiating a Truce with Your Feline Overlord
76. In Case of Emergency
17Truce Training
8Feline First Aid
18Love the Beast
9Catastrophe Management
1910. Conclusion: The Purrfect Bond
10Maintain Perspective
20About the Author
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