Do It Like an Animal: Relationship Advice from Octopuses

By Duktor Anamel Magnis Tsom

Listen with Sir Michael Caine™ and 1,000+ voices

Length1h 4m

About this audiobook

Eight arms. Three hearts. Blue blood. Zero bones. And somehow, the smartest love advice you'll hear this year. Welcome to Do It Like an Animal: Relationship Advice from Octopuses—twelve ink-tested chapters on building bonds deeper than any ocean trench. From the mother octopus who starved 4.5 years guarding eggs she'd never see hatch, to the escape artist who slipped through a tennis-ball-sized gap to freedom, each chapter pairs jaw-dropping animal science with the brain chemistry of love—oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, cortisol—and a practical weekly prescription you can actually fill. Part marine biology, part stand-up comedy, part relationship handbook, this listen is for anyone tired of advice from people who've never had to squeeze through a hole the size of their own mouth to survive. Grab a dark, quiet den. Press play. Ink the ocean.

Audiobook details

GenreHumor, Self-Help

Length1 hr 4 mins

Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices

FormateBook with Audio

Publish dateMay 3, 2026

LanguageEnglish

1Title & Disclaimer Page

11Chapter 7: Octopuses Use Coconut Shells as Portable Shelters and Rocks as Tools — Build with Octopus Creativity

2Series Description

12Chapter 8: Octopuses Recognize Individual Human Faces and Treat Them Differently — Connect with Octopus Attention

3Who This Series is For

13Chapter 9: An Octopus’s Esophagus Runs Straight Through Its Brain — Risk with Octopus Vulnerability

4Introduction

14Chapter 10: An Octopus’s Skin Flashes With Color While It Sleeps — and Scientists Don’t Know Why — Rest with Octopus Imagination

5Chapter 1: An Octopus Has 500 Million Neurons but Two-Thirds of Them Aren’t in Its Brain — Think with Octopus Independence

15Chapter 11: An Octopus Can Regenerate a Severed Arm — Suckers, Nerves, and All — Heal with Octopus Resilience

Show all chapters

6Chapter 2: An Octopus Can Change Color, Texture, and Pattern in Less Than a Second — Adapt with Octopus Flexibility

16Chapter 12: Every Octopus Dies After Mating — They Give Everything Once and Hold Nothing Back — Love with Octopus Totality

7Chapter 3: A Mother Octopus Starved for 4.5 Years Guarding Eggs She’d Never See Hatch — Sacrifice with Octopus Devotion

17Conclusion: Ink the Ocean With Octopus-Inspired Love

8Chapter 4: An Octopus Has Three Hearts and Blue Blood — Feel with Octopus Depth

18Bonus Section: Octopus-Inspired Date Ideas

9Chapter 5: Each Arm Can Taste, Touch, and Decide Without the Brain’s Permission — Trust with Octopus Autonomy

19Bonus Section: Octopus-Inspired Relationship Exercises

10Chapter 6: An Octopus Can Squeeze Through Any Gap Larger Than Its Beak — Escape with Octopus Resourcefulness

20About the Author

About the author

Duktor Anamel Magnis Tsom

Old for an otter’s 20–28-year lifespan—and akin to a human’s late 50s, Duktor Anamel Magnis Tsom, your otterly qualified Advisor of Wild & Domesticated Affection, brings 15 years of expertise guiding humans, squirrels, jellyfish, and more to thrive in relationships. Named “Duktor” by his mother to mock quack vets who urged culling him for a birth defect, he trained at the owl-run WiseWing Conservatory, earning the Silver Whisker Award for innovative relationship strategies. With a decade left to counsel, he explores the unique love lives of all creatures for his Do It Like an Animal series.View all by Duktor Anamel Magnis Tsom