1Table of Figures
60Maintaining an awareness of your betrayal barometer
2Acknowledgements
61Boundary-based decision making
3Preface: A Note to the Clinician/Counselor
62Betrayal-proofing your relationships
4Preface to the Second Edition
63End of Subsection Two: Boundary Work—Bracing Yourself with Supportive Structures—Healing Continuum
5Introduction: How this book came about
64Subsection Three: Fortifying Your Inner Tower
6The purpose of the book
65Breaking Free
7Section I: Knowledge and Awareness
66Living Free
8Chapter 1 – Betrayal: What is Betrayal?
67End of Subsection Three—Fortifying Your Inner Tower- Healing Continuum
9Definitions and Explanations
68End of Part Three
101. An investment met with rejection and/or abandonment
69Forgiveness/Releasing
112. A profound trust in someone or something that is profoundly violated
70Practice releasing
12Trust as an innate emotion
71Thought, stop, and replace
13Trust without the relationship component
72End of Part Four: Release and Renew—Healing Continuum
143. A truth that becomes a lie / A belief that is shattered
73What will your picture be?
15Activities – Chapter 1
74What will your legacy be—define or refine?
16Chapter 2 – Betrayal: What am I Feeling and Why?
75End of Part Five: Reframe and Refine—Healing Continuum
17States and Truths
76Section IV: Betrayal and Relapse
181. State of Confusion
77Chapter 13 – Betrayal and Relapse Part One: Redefining Relapse as Self- Betrayal
192. State of Worthlessness
78Betrayal of oneself and of one’s truths
203. A State of Powerlessness
79Abandon, turn away, reject, or let go
21Exercises — Chapter 2
80Deny, forfeit, or compromise
22Activities – Chapter 2
81Return to an unhealthy behavior, environment, or relationship
23Chapter 3 – Betrayal: To What Degree and How Long Will I Feel this Way?
82Activities – Chapter 13
24The Anatomy of Betrayal
83End of Part One: Redefining Relapse as Self-Betrayal – Healing Continuum
25An Underlying Principle
84Chapter 14 – Betrayal and Relapse Part Two: Unraveling Debilitating Emotions and Self-Deprecating Life Messages
26Degree as a “length of time”
85What is shame?
27Degree as “what we gave / what was taken from us”
86What is shame’s role in relapse?
28Degree as “what was lost”
87What are the outer layers and inner core of shame?
29Loss as “personal, relational, and/or material”
88Inner core of shame
30Loss as “inner-personal”
89What are life messages? Why are they important?
31Occurrence = Degree of injury
90Activities – Chapter 14
32Occurrence: acute or short term
91End of Part Two: Unraveling Debilitating Emotions and Self-Deprecating Life Messages – Healing Continuum
33Occurrence: chronic or ongoing
92Chapter 15 – Betrayal and Relapse Part Three: Recognizing and Removing the Masks of Denial, Disguise, and Detachment
34Occurrence: recurrent or episodic
93Mask of Denial – The Personality of Lies
35Occurrence: multiple betrayals
94Mask of Disguise – The Pretend Persona
36Occurrence: re-injury—from self
95The Mask of Detachment – Pulling away from Sources of Truth
37Activities – Chapter 3
96Activities – Chapter 15
38Chapter 4 – Betrayal and Codependency
97End of Part Three: Recognizing and Removing the Masks of Denial, Disguise, and Detachment – Healing Continuum
39Activities – Chapter 4
98Chapter 16 – Betrayal and Relapse Part Four: Recognizing and Restoring Areas of Vulnerability
40Suggested Readings
99Triggers
41Chapter 5 – Betrayal and Grief
100Weak links in chain of events
42Activities – Chapter 5
101Life changes, transitions, and other precipitating factors
43Suggested Readings
102Activities – Chapter 16
44The work belongs to the betrayed—only the betrayed
103End of Part Four: Recognizing and Releasing Areas of Vulnerability - Healing Continuum
45Armed with knowledge
104Chapter 17 – Betrayal and Relapse Part Five: Recognizing and Releasing the Restraints of Relapse
46Fortified with understanding
105Recognizing the restraints of relapse
47Validated with truth
106Releasing the restraints of relapse
48Activities – Chapter 7
107Gifts of releasing
49End of Chapter – Healing Continuum
108Activities – Chapter 17
50Keeping a pulse on your place and position
109End of Part Five: Recognizing and Releasing the Restraints of Relapse – Healing Continuum
51Protecting yourself / Building a support network
110Replacing the old with the new
52Embracing the work ahead of you
111Rebuilding boundaries and fortifying them
53Activities – Chapter 8
112Restoring self-work and self-worth
54End of Chapter—Healing Continuum
113Epilogue
55Subsection One: Cleansing and Cultivation of Internal and External Spaces
114Reward
56Cleansing and Cultivation of Internal Spaces
115About the Author
57Cleansing and Cultivation of External Spaces
116Bibliography
58End of Subsection One: Cleansing and Cultivation of Internal and External Spaces—Healing Continuum
117Index
59Subsection Two: Boundary Work—Bracing Yourself with Supportive Structures
