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Enjoy Your Retirement
The Grand Opening Act of No Alarms, No Rules, and Unlimited Pie
Talli
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Length
1h
About this audiobook
Enjoy Your Retirement: No Alarms, No Rules, Unlimited Pie (897 chars) Ditch 5 a.m. screeches for sweatpants & pie breakfasts—retirement's gut-busting riot of 10 a.m. wake-ups, bifocal Tinder flops (jar-opening auditions gone wrong!), garage birdhouses hijacked by squirrels. 8 laugh-out-loud chapters spill chaos: tie-torching closet purges, wall-staring "free Mondays," grandkid remote raids, thermostat divorce wars, PTA pie-slave traps ("One more bake sale!"). Power-walk squirrel feuds, nap empire thrones, golf ponds (dignity sunk), taco royalty discounts ("10% off? Emperor status!"). Master "not my problem" glee, redefine "What do you do?" as "Nap like boss." For desk-jockey escape-plotters & victory-lap vets. Fork up—pie-fect spotlight's yours!
Journey
Adventure
Identity
Healing
Family
Satire
Exploration
Audiobook details
Genre
Humor, Health and Wellness
Length
1 hr
Narrated by
Select Your Own
Format
eBook with Audio
Publish date
Feb 25, 2026
Language
English
About the author
Talli
View all by Talli
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