The Shopping Diet
My Mum's Hilarious Weight Loss RoutineBy Emily Hartmann
Length9h 57m
About this audiobook
Forget treadmills. Forget kale. Forget paying a stranger to count your squats.
This is the true(ish) story of one unstoppable mother who discovered the world's funniest weight-loss secret hiding in plain sight: shopping. Armed with comfortable shoes, a handbag heavier than checked luggage, and zero interest in gym memberships, she power-walks through markets, climbs mall staircases like an Olympic athlete, negotiates like a lawyer, and treats a 50%-off sign like a starting gun — all while eating fried rice, meat pie, and ice cream without an ounce of guilt.
And somehow… the scale agrees with her.
The Shopping Diet is a laugh-out-loud comedy memoir about family, food, body image, and the wonderfully chaotic logic of the woman who raised you. It's part sitcom, part diary confession, part fake fitness science — and entirely the funniest book about your mother you didn't know you needed. From dressing room Olympics to trolley racing championships, rival aunties to a receipt nobody is allowed to see, this book turns ordinary errands into unforgettable, heartwarming chaos.
Perfect for fans of funny family memoirs, hilarious mother-daughter stories, and humorous books about food, fitness, and everyday life. If you've ever had a mum who refused to call shopping anything but cardio — this book is for her, and for you.
✔ Hilarious family humor & comedy memoir ✔ Heartwarming mother-daughter relationship story ✔ Perfect gift for Mother's Day, birthdays, or anyone who loves a good laugh ✔ A feel-good read for fans of funny self-help parody and lifestyle satire
Comfortable shoes. Wide handles. Arrive early. The receipts, unfortunately, have never been higher.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor
Length9 hrs 57 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1Introduction
22PART FOUR: FAMILY SUFFERING & PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT
2Warning: This Book May Burn Calories Through Laughter
23Children Lost in the Mall
3Mum Versus the Gym
24Dad's Retirement From Shopping Trips
4The Day the Weighing Scale Lied
25The Dangerous "Just One More Shop" Promise
5Walking Through Stores Like a Soldier
26The Receipt Nobody Was Allowed to See
Show all chaptersShow less
6The Science of Shopping Cardio
27The Day Mum Nearly Fought Over a Discount
7Why Window Shopping Is Dangerous
28Carrying Bags Like an Olympic Athlete
8PART TWO: THE ADVENTURES BEGIN
29PART FIVE: THE WEIGHT LOSS LEGEND
9The Great Supermarket Marathon
30Doctors Hate Her Shopping Method
10Attack of the 50% Discount Sign
31The Fake Fitness Expert Interview
11The Dressing Room Olympics
32How Mum Lost 2kg Without Sacrifice
12Trolley Racing Championships
33Opening Her Own Shopping Fitness Class
13The Handbag Weightlifting Program
34The International Shopping Diet Movement
14Five Hours, Three Markets, No Rest
35The Final Shopping Trip
15PART THREE: COMPETITIVE SHOPPING
36Calories Fade, Receipts Remain Forever
16Rival Aunties and Market Wars
37Bonus Sections
17The Last Item on the Shelf
38Mum's Official Shopping Diet Rules
18Bargaining Like a Lawyer
39Fake Scientific Research About Shopping Weight Loss
19The Fashion Disaster Incident
40Survival Guide for Children Forced to Shop
20The Security Guard Who Knew Her Name
41Most Dangerous Words Mum Ever Said
21Shopping While Hungry: A National Emergency
42Emergency Shopping Vocabulary
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