The Weirdest Stories in Soccer History

The Weirdest Stories in Soccer History

Bizarre Matches, Strange Players and Unbelievable Stories That Really HappenedBy Matt Glinger
Listen with Sir Michael Caine™ and 1,000+ voices
Length6h 24m

About this audiobook

The referee who sent himself off. The goalkeeper who defended an empty net. The dog who saved the World Cup. These aren't punchlines. They actually happened. Soccer is the world's most popular sport—and its most gloriously unhinged. Behind the pristine grass and billion-dollar broadcasts lies a century of chaos that no scriptwriter would dare invent: a match where both teams spent the final minutes trying to score in the wrong goal, a goalkeeper who executed a scorpion kick at Wembley on purpose, a phantom Togo national team that fooled an entire federation, and a professional striker who conned his way through twenty years of elite football without ever playing a single minute. The Weirdest Stories in Soccer History pulls back the curtain on the sport's most bizarre, brutal, and breathtakingly absurd moments—all documented, all verified, all completely real. From the ninety-minute own-goal protest that shattered a 117-year record to the cocaine-funded club wars of 1980s Colombia, from the astrologer who managed France's national team to the lightning strike that killed an entire starting eleven, these are the stories they don't tell you on match day. Matt Glinger has scoured newspaper archives, police reports, and declassified documents to assemble the definitive collection of football's strangest true tales. No urban legends. No embellishment. Just the raw, ridiculous, magnificent truth of a sport that refuses to make sense. Inside you'll discover: • The Caribbean match that broke the laws of mathematics—and why FIFA had no choice but to let it stand How a mafia boss rewarded a player for punching his own team's fans The billionaire drug lord who built football pitches for slum kids and murdered referees who crossed him The prince who marched onto a World Cup pitch and forced the referee to reverse a goal Why thirty-six footballers all received red cards in a single Argentine match The Bolivian stadium where Brazil's unbeaten streak died and Messi vomited on the grass The goalkeeper who scored a hat-trick, and the one who got arrested mid-match for kidnapping mediation For anyone who has ever watched a match unfold in ways no scriptwriter could invent—this one is for you.

Audiobook details

GenreOther, Humor
Length6 hrs 24 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateSep 28, 2026
LanguageEnglish

Table of contents

1Disclaimer
2Introduction: The Global Cathedral of Absurdity
3Chapter 1: The Double-Goal Paradox: The Match That Broke the Logic of Scoring
4Chapter 2: The Great Pretender: Twenty Years as an Elite Footballer Without Ever Playing
5Chapter 3: The Protest of One Hundred and Forty-Nine Own Goals
Show all chapters
6Chapter 4: The War That Started on a Pitch
7Chapter 5: Dictators, Royalty, and Mafia Meddling
8Chapter 6: Eccentrics in the Six-Yard Box
9Chapter 7: The Whistle of Utter Chaos
10Chapter 8: The Disgrace of Gijón and the Art of the Fix
11Chapter 9: Witch Doctors, Astrologers, and Cursed Grass
12Chapter 10: Pitch Invaders, Ferocious Beasts, and Swarming Hives
13Chapter 11: Blood and Broken Bones: The Most Brutal Matches in History
14Chapter 12: The Phantom National Teams and Imposter Internationals
15Chapter 13: Freak Calamities and Domestic Self-Destruction
16Chapter 14: Acts of God and Atmospheric Anarchy
17Chapter 15: Impossible Physics and Mind-Blowing Coincidences
18Conclusion: The Unconquerable Absurdity
19About the Author

Series

More from Matt Glinger

Mere Christianity
Mere ChristianityC. S. Lewis7h 7m4.4 (519.7K)$24 · $0.00
Her Daily Bread
Her Daily BreadKate Wood12h 57m4.6 (153)$33 · $0.00
The Holy Bible - 1 Samuel
The Holy Bible - 1 SamuelKing James2h 13m4.8 (1.6K)$3 · $0.00
The American Standard Bible — The Gospel of Matthew
The American Standard Bible — The Gospel of MatthewMatthew3h 56m4.7 (3K)$2 · $0.00
Bad Fat Black Girl
Bad Fat Black GirlSesali Bowen6h 32m4.7 (2.8K)$24 · $0.00
The King James Audio Bible New Testament Complete
The King James Audio Bible New Testament CompleteChristopher Glyn20h 2m4.7 (2.6K)$12 · $0.00
Faiths Checkbook
Faiths CheckbookCharles Spurgeon12h 44m4.7 (3.2K)$11 · $0.00
Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental Health
Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental HealthDr. Billy Garvey4h 53m4.7 (2.4K)$20 · $0.00
Designing Terry Pratchett’s Discworld
Designing Terry Pratchett’s DiscworldPaul Kidby3h 52m4.7 (343)$20 · $0.00
The Chosen Book One
The Chosen Book OneAmanda Jenkins, Kristen Hendricks, Dallas Jenkins3h 8m4.6 (4.9K)$10 · $0.00
The Lives of Brian
The Lives of BrianBrian Johnson9h 45m4.6 (3.5K)$29 · $0.00
Expository Thoughts on the Gospel of Luke
Expository Thoughts on the Gospel of LukeJ.C. Ryle27h 13m4.7 (536)$18 · $0.00
Crossroads
CrossroadsKaleb Dahlgren7h 56m4.6 (4.9K)$26 · $0.00
Across the River
Across the RiverKent Babb11h 40m4.6 (927)$29 · $0.00
Brain Training for Riders
Brain Training for RidersAndrea Monsarrat Waldo5h 56m4.7 (550)$19 · $0.00
My Effin' Life
My Effin' LifeGeddy Lee17h 11m4.6 (13.1K)$40 · $0.00
Kings and Pawns
Kings and PawnsHoward Bryant10h 9m4.6 (678)$29 · $0.00
The Elementia Chronicles #2: The New Order
The Elementia Chronicles #2: The New OrderSean Fay Wolfe11h 17m4.6 (841)$29 · $0.00
The Acts
The ActsLuke2h 55m4.6 (19.7K)$12 · $0.00
New Testament - Easy Navigation
New Testament - Easy NavigationWorld English Bible19h 35m4.6 (1.3K)$1.30 · $0.00
Lost In Translation
Lost In TranslationAudrey Davis9h 15m4.4 (235)Free
Kingsblood Royal (Annotated)
Kingsblood Royal (Annotated)Sinclair Lewis14h 42m4.6 (264)$2 · $0.00
This Is Going to Hurt
This Is Going to HurtAdam Kay5h 47m4.4 (444.7K)$24 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This Night
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m4.4 (11.8K)$24 · $0.00
Northanger Abbey (Annotated)
Northanger Abbey (Annotated)Jane Austen10h 7m4.5 (1.6K)$2 · $0.00
My Dear Hamilton
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m4.4 (63.6K)$46 · $0.00
THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS & SCREWTAPE PROPOSES A TOAST (Annotated)
THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS & SCREWTAPE PROPOSES A TOAST (Annotated)C. S. Lewis5h 6m4.4 (471K)$2 · $0.00
Buffering
BufferingHannah Hart5h 55m4.4 (12.4K)$24 · $0.00
The Office BFFs
The Office BFFsJenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey8h 26m4.3 (45.4K)$26 · $0.00
The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker
The Collected Stories of Dorothy ParkerDorothy Parker8h 36m4.3 (13.6K)$1 · $0.00
Lamb
LambChristopher Moore15h 22m4.3 (211.3K)$33 · $0.00
#IMomSoHard
#IMomSoHardKristin Hensley, Jen Smedley7h 19m4.3 (7.3K)$24 · $0.00
Mixed Plate
Mixed PlateJo Koy8h 18m4.3 (7.1K)$26 · $0.00
Over the Top
Over the TopJonathan Van Ness5h 50m4.3 (87.3K)$24 · $0.00
It Never Ends
It Never EndsTom Scharpling8h 53m4.4 (2.3K)$20 · $0.00
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Importance of Being EarnestOscar Wilde2h 31m4.3 (475.9K)$1.20 · $0.00
More Tales of the City
More Tales of the CityArmistead Maupin8h 23m4.3 (22.6K)$26 · $0.00
Joyful Recollections of Trauma
Joyful Recollections of TraumaPaul Scheer6h 38m4.3 (8.2K)$7 · $0.00
More Than a Woman
More Than a WomanCaitlin Moran9h 31m4.3 (16.8K)$29 · $0.00
Famesick
FamesickLena Dunham11h 46m4.3 (49.7K)$29 · $0.00

You may also like

On Masturbation: "Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism"
On Masturbation: "Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism"Mark Twain1h 30m3.7 (1.1K)$1 · $0.00
The Tyranny of Clichés
The Tyranny of ClichésJonah Goldberg11h 7m4.2 (2.3K)$25 · $0.00
The Dilbert Principle
The Dilbert PrincipleScott Adams1h 11m4.0 (48.5K)$13 · $0.00
Philosophical Dictionary
Philosophical DictionaryVoltaire9h 15m4.2 (4.2K)$1.20 · $0.00
Recessional
RecessionalDavid Mamet6h 20m3.6 (2.1K)$24 · $0.00
When to Rob a Bank
When to Rob a BankSteven D. Levitt, Stephen J. Dubner8h 14m3.7 (19.9K)$26 · $0.00
Voltaire's Philosophical Dictionary
Voltaire's Philosophical DictionaryVoltaire9h 31m4.3 (13.4K)$2.30
Beasts and Super-Beasts (Annotated)
Beasts and Super-Beasts (Annotated)Saki, H. H. Munro8h 3m4.1 (4.2K)$2 · $0.00
How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings
How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's FeelingsSarah Cooper1h 39m4.1 (5.7K)$15
The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether
The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor FetherEdgar Allan Poe51m3.8 (1.7K)$1
Domination and the Arts of Resistance
Domination and the Arts of ResistanceJames C. Scott10h 44m4.2 (819)$25
The Amateur
The AmateurEdward Klein6h 31m3.7 (8.3K)$20 · $0.00
The Devil's Dictionary
The Devil's DictionaryAmbrose Bierce7h 59m4.1 (160.2K)$0.60 · $0.00
Mark Twain: On Masturbation
Mark Twain: On MasturbationMark Twain1h 29m3.8 (54)$2 · $0.00
Irritated people
Irritated peopleRay Bradbury35m3.0 (21)$2 · $0.00
The Fable of the Bees; Or, Private Vices, Public Benefits
The Fable of the Bees; Or, Private Vices, Public BenefitsBernard Mandeville24h 20m3.7 (346)$1 · $0.00
Rolling Stones
Rolling StonesO. Henry7h 43m$2.30 · $0.00
Kangaroo
KangarooD. H. Lawrence16h 39m3.4 (1.1K)$2.30
Benito Cereno & Bartleby (Annotated)
Benito Cereno & Bartleby (Annotated)Herman Melville6h 34m$2 · $0.00
A Satire Anthology
A Satire AnthologyCarolyn Wells9h 37m3.8 (77)$2.30