Audio only
The Distress of the Sharp
The Metaphysics of C Sharp and GreaseBy Otto HandleyNarrated by Gregory DwyerLength4h 26m
About this audiobook
A metaphysical crisis occurs when the note C sharp mysteriously vanishes after being played perfectly by the pianist Jonathan Blenheim. The absence causes tonal collapse worldwide, leading to chaos in orchestras and triggering a bureaucratic panic at the Bureau of Eclectic Notation (BEN). The Bureau attempts to force the note D Flat into substitution, to be met with fierce opposition by D Flat. The narrative follows the adventures of the missing C sharp, which has been transposed into the viscosity of frying grease within Wotof Wongip’s chip shop, becoming a sentient sound that seeks resolution through “grease-touch” and memory. Ultimately, characters including Detective Fiddlefaddle, the Fryer Prophet Frank, and the adverbial entity Softly work to resolve the harmonic viscosity. Eventually the note is facilitated to make an imperfect, merciful return, and the crisis between pitch and substance is finally resolved.
Audiobook details
GenreFantasy, General Fiction, Humor
Length4 hrs 26 mins
Narrated byGregory Dwyer
FormatAudiobook
Publish dateFeb 17, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Series
More from Otto Handley
The Story of GlenOtto Handley2h 35m$15
The Man Who Tried to Impress AristotleOtto Handley2h 17m$15
Escape into SentienceOtto Handley5h 37m$20
The Man Who Tried to Impress G. K. ChestertonOtto Handley2h 39m$15
Sliding into SinOtto Handley8h 6m$23
The Man Who Tried to Impress Jordan PetersonOtto Handley1h 29m$10
The Wombat UltimatumOtto Handley5h 35m$20
The Four Last ThingsOtto Handley5h 56m$20
A Papal EmulsificationOtto Handley5h$20
The Fryer AscendsOtto Handley3h 23m$20
Verbosity UnchainedOtto Handley7h 59m$23
Sherlock Holmes: Complete Novels & Stories in One VolumeArthur Conan Doyle93h 44m$2 · $0.00
Flint, Book 2Treasure Hernandez4h 13m$20
The Newly Witch GameRobyn Peterman4h 39m$15
MaelstromBethany Adams17h 6m$25
WildfireIlona Andrews12h 45m$33 · $0.00
Rumo & His Miraculous AdventuresWalter Moers24h 6m$35
Bigger Guns, More TroubleCharles Tillman, Martha Carr, Michael Anderle7h 47m$17
Demon CopperheadBarbara Kingsolver21h 3m$46 · $0.00
Lolth's WarriorR. A. Salvatore13h 20m$33 · $0.00
Bigger Monsters, More TroubleCharles Tillman, Michael Anderle, Martha Carr10h 17m$20
Hell to PayMichael Anderle7h 50m$20
The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du BoisHonoree Fanonne Jeffers29h 49m$8 · $0.00
Conan the Barbarian - The Complete SeriesRobert E. Howard42h 40m$2 · $0.00
The Assassins of ThasalonLois McMaster Bujold9h 59m$20
The Count of Monte CristoAlexandre Dumas52h 50m$2 · $0.00
Lola in the MirrorTrent Dalton13h 40m$33 · $0.00
Going PostalTerry Pratchett13h 36m$33 · $0.00
The Leo Tolstoy CollectionLeo Tolstoy9h 1m$12 · $0.00
The Ultimate H. Rider Haggard CollectionHenry Rider Haggard599h 19m$2 · $0.00
Sword and ShadowMichelle Sagara16h 51m$40 · $0.00
Ethic IIAshley Antoinette9h 1m$20
RiversnowTess Thompson8h 11m$20
Supreme ClienteleAshley & JaQuavis8h 58m$20
Body Refinement in a Beast Tamer’s World, Book 1Seth Ring14h 7m$27
Hell Divers XII: HeroesNicholas Sansbury Smith13h 18m$27
EmberJeffrey Wilson, Brian Andrews13h 58m$23
The Complete Works of Jane Austen (Unabridged)Jane Austen88h 8m5 (1)$1 · $0.00
Desperate MeasuresBrenda Jackson8h 59m$28 · $0.00
Shōgun, Part TwoJames Clavell29h 16m$40
Showdown in the Big EasyCharles Tillman, Michael Anderle, Martha Carr7h 37m$23
Searching For ThanksgivingS.E. Smith4h 24m$20
Naughty 4Brenda Hampton7h 30m$17
The Dance with Me TrilogyShelley Shepard Gray21h 44m$35
The DopemanJaQuavis Coleman5h 25m$20
Sherlock Holmes: The Ultimate CollectionArthur Conan Doyle59h 49m$5 · $0.00
My Favorite Husband, Vol. 1Hollywood 360, CBS Radio5h 40m$14
WhistlerAnn Patchett10h 45m4 (4)$29 · $0.00
Grand Opening 2Carl Weber9h 16m$20
Sons of Valor II: Violence of ActionBrian Andrews, Jeffrey Wilson12h 34m$23
Malevolent MagicMildred Abbott7h 13m$17
TimeReaping in DeadwoodAnn Charles13h 2m$23
Santa's HusbandDaniel Kibblesmith, A P. Quach5m$4 · $0.00
The Facts of MidlifeRobyn Peterman4h 49m$15
Chaos in a CoupeDivya Dugar9h 18m$18 · $0.00
The Life of DaiDai Henwood, Jaquie Brown8h 2m$26 · $0.00
Poems of ParentingLoryn Brantz42m4 (1)$9 · $0.00
What If? 10th Anniversary EditionRandall Munroe7h 29m$23
Welcome to PawneeJim O'Heir6h 24m$24 · $0.00
Going PostalTerry Pratchett13h 36m$33 · $0.00
Mapp & Lucia: Complete SeriesE. F. Benson59h 54m$2 · $0.00
Woman UninterruptedBrodie Kane7h 1m$24 · $0.00
Hot Cowgirl Sh*tLacie Evans2h 15m$15
The Complete Novels of Mark Twain - 12 Books in One Volume (Illustrated Edition)Mark Twain155h 29m$2 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m$24 · $0.00
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m$46 · $0.00
Chronicles of BarsetshireAnthony Trollope149h 48m$2 · $0.00
The Night Before Christmas at Dunder MifflinBrian Baumgartner, Ben Silverman6m$4 · $0.00
Pride & PrejudiceJane Austen14h 52m$1 · $0.00
The Complete Works of SakiSaki, H. H. Munro52h 37m$2 · $0.00
Jungle UpNick Pirog10h 8m$20
You may also like
The Book Of LiesAleister Crowley2h 52m$2 · $0.00
Body, Mind & Spirit and Mysticism – 6 Classic Spiritual TextsJakob Böhme, H. P. Blavatsky, Three Initiates, Rudolf Steiner, Kahlil Gibran, U. G. Krishnamurti43h 22m$1
The Magic ShopH.G. Wells30m$2 · $0.00
Daughter from the DarkMarina & Sergey Dyachenko9h 59m$29 · $0.00
The Arcane Teachings of William Walker AtkinsonWilliam Walker Atkinson12h 26m$2 · $0.00
Book MagicLucy McCarraher4h 14m$22 · $0.00
A Treatise on White MagicAlice Bailey22h 4m$1 · $0.00
Etidorhpa; or, The End of EarthJohn Uri Lloyd11h 33m$2 · $0.00
The ImitatorPercival Pollard4h 44m$2 · $0.00
The Psychology of HashishAleister Crowley3h 9m$1 · $0.00
Shifting - Access Your Desired Reality - Subliminal to Switch DimensionsMiss Smilla56m$2 · $0.00
The storm of London: a social rhapsodyFernande Blaze de Bury7h 54m$2 · $0.00
Practical Mind-ReadingWilliam Walker Atkinson3h 5m$1 · $0.00
The Book of LiesAleister Crowley1h 35m$5 · $0.00
The Fissure KingRachel Pollack12h 19m$23
MagoniaMaria Dahvana Headley9h 22m$29 · $0.00
The Prey of GodsNicky Drayden12h 27m$29 · $0.00
The Science of Getting Rich (The Unabridged Classic by Wallace D. Wattles)Wallace D. Wattles2h 29m$1 · $0.00
The Occult WorldAlfred Percy Sinnett6h 17m$2 · $0.00
The Damned (Là-bas)Joris-Karl Huysmans8h 55m$1 · $0.00