Length15h 34m
About this audiobook
The BIBiLE The complete history of creation, prophets, miracles and apocalypse as recorded by Heaven's filing department. The Developer has three monitors, a sticky spacebar, and a mug that says WORLD'S OKAYEST DEITY. Gabriel is COO. He files everything.
This is the administrative history of everything. From the first deployment to the factory reset, every miracle had a filing category, every disaster had a paper trail, and someone was always taking notes.
The archive is complete. The drawer is full. The i is silent.
If you want to know what really happened, read the other book.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor, Fantasy
Length15 hrs 34 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateMay 31, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1GENESIS
56Jeremiah: The One Who Was Right
2In The Beginning
57A Note From The Other Side Of The World
3Day three was the day the Developer got interested.
581 KINGS (continued)
4Day four was the chronology patch, which Gabriel had been asking about since day two.
59EZEKIEL
5Day five: the fauna script.
60JONAH
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6Day six: the flagship models.
61The Jewish Community: A Note At The Close Of The Old Testament
7The Garden of Eden
62A Note on the Record
8The Fall
63MATTHEW
9The Conversation
64MARK
10The Fallout
65LUKE
11Cain and Abel
66JOHN
12Noah and the Flood
67From the Four Accounts to the One Record
13The Tower of Babel
68THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO GAVIN
14Timberrrr.
69The Incarnation Briefing
15The Tower of Babel: The Telecom Glitch
70Bethlehem: A Logistics Disaster
16Abraham
71Thirty Years of Nothing Documented
17The Patriarchs: A Succession of Difficult Men
72Thirty Years of Carpentry
18Sodom
73The Temptation
19Sodom and Soddit: A Case Study
74The Ministry
20The Bet — Abraham and Isaac
75The Teaching
21The Forfeit
76The Miracles: A Thorough Investigation
22Isaac
77The PR Operation
23Isaac’s Debrief
78The Ointment
24Lot
79The Temple
25Lot: A Welfare Report
80Maggie
26Jacob
81The Miracles — A Skeptic’s View
27Jacob: The One Who Fought Back
82The Last Supper — The Party
28Joseph
83The Passion
29Interlude: The Beta Test (Joseph, Son of Jacob)
84Dodge
30EXODUS
85The Trial of Pompus
31Four Hundred Years: The Long Wait
86The Hill
32The Plagues
87Three Days
33The Plague Sequence: A Professional Assessment
88The Resurrection
34The Red Sea
89The Patch Goes Live
35The Red Sea: The Bottleneck Crisis
90ACTS
36The Plague: An Email Chain
91The Interdepartmental Meeting
37LEVITICUS / NUMBERS / DEUTERONOMY
92Malta: A Professional Incident
38The Terms of Service
93The Gnostics: A Professional Assessment
39The Sabbath
94Pete’s Operational Manual
40The Sabbath: A Compliance Overview
95REVELATION
41The Golden Calf
96The Patch Notes
42The Golden Calf: Aaron’s Project Management Failure
97Jon on Patmos
43Balaam and His Donkey
98What Jon Saw: The Seals
44JOSHUA / JUDGES
99The Horsemen: A Note From Personnel
45RUTH
100Terms and Conditions Apply
46Two Women Who Didn’t Get Their Own Chapter But Should Have
101The Other Departments: Shutdown Sequence
471 SAMUEL / 1 KINGS
102The Report Cards
48JOB
103The Return
49Interlude: The Formal Bet
104The Millennium: A Thousand Years Without Lucifer
501 KINGS (continue1)
105Lucifer Returns
51Interference Patterns: A Note On Other Operations
106The Judgment
52The New Computers
107New Jerusalem
53ISAIAH
108Jon Finishes Writing
54Isaiah: The Optimistic One
109Gabriel’s Postscript
55JEREMIAH
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