Length15h 34m
About this audiobook
The BIBiLE The complete history of creation, prophets, miracles and apocalypse as recorded by Heaven's filing department. The Developer has three monitors, a sticky spacebar, and a mug that says WORLD'S OKAYEST DEITY. Gabriel is COO. He files everything.
This is the administrative history of everything. From the first deployment to the factory reset, every miracle had a filing category, every disaster had a paper trail, and someone was always taking notes.
The archive is complete. The drawer is full. The i is silent.
If you want to know what really happened, read the other book.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor, Fantasy
Length15 hrs 34 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateMay 31, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1GENESIS
56Jeremiah: The One Who Was Right
2In The Beginning
57A Note From The Other Side Of The World
3Day three was the day the Developer got interested.
581 KINGS (continued)
4Day four was the chronology patch, which Gabriel had been asking about since day two.
59EZEKIEL
5Day five: the fauna script.
60JONAH
Show all chaptersShow less
6Day six: the flagship models.
61The Jewish Community: A Note At The Close Of The Old Testament
7The Garden of Eden
62A Note on the Record
8The Fall
63MATTHEW
9The Conversation
64MARK
10The Fallout
65LUKE
11Cain and Abel
66JOHN
12Noah and the Flood
67From the Four Accounts to the One Record
13The Tower of Babel
68THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO GAVIN
14Timberrrr.
69The Incarnation Briefing
15The Tower of Babel: The Telecom Glitch
70Bethlehem: A Logistics Disaster
16Abraham
71Thirty Years of Nothing Documented
17The Patriarchs: A Succession of Difficult Men
72Thirty Years of Carpentry
18Sodom
73The Temptation
19Sodom and Soddit: A Case Study
74The Ministry
20The Bet — Abraham and Isaac
75The Teaching
21The Forfeit
76The Miracles: A Thorough Investigation
22Isaac
77The PR Operation
23Isaac’s Debrief
78The Ointment
24Lot
79The Temple
25Lot: A Welfare Report
80Maggie
26Jacob
81The Miracles — A Skeptic’s View
27Jacob: The One Who Fought Back
82The Last Supper — The Party
28Joseph
83The Passion
29Interlude: The Beta Test (Joseph, Son of Jacob)
84Dodge
30EXODUS
85The Trial of Pompus
31Four Hundred Years: The Long Wait
86The Hill
32The Plagues
87Three Days
33The Plague Sequence: A Professional Assessment
88The Resurrection
34The Red Sea
89The Patch Goes Live
35The Red Sea: The Bottleneck Crisis
90ACTS
36The Plague: An Email Chain
91The Interdepartmental Meeting
37LEVITICUS / NUMBERS / DEUTERONOMY
92Malta: A Professional Incident
38The Terms of Service
93The Gnostics: A Professional Assessment
39The Sabbath
94Pete’s Operational Manual
40The Sabbath: A Compliance Overview
95REVELATION
41The Golden Calf
96The Patch Notes
42The Golden Calf: Aaron’s Project Management Failure
97Jon on Patmos
43Balaam and His Donkey
98What Jon Saw: The Seals
44JOSHUA / JUDGES
99The Horsemen: A Note From Personnel
45RUTH
100Terms and Conditions Apply
46Two Women Who Didn’t Get Their Own Chapter But Should Have
101The Other Departments: Shutdown Sequence
471 SAMUEL / 1 KINGS
102The Report Cards
48JOB
103The Return
49Interlude: The Formal Bet
104The Millennium: A Thousand Years Without Lucifer
501 KINGS (continue1)
105Lucifer Returns
51Interference Patterns: A Note On Other Operations
106The Judgment
52The New Computers
107New Jerusalem
53ISAIAH
108Jon Finishes Writing
54Isaiah: The Optimistic One
109Gabriel’s Postscript
55JEREMIAH
More from AJ
EVE AND THE WANDERING STONERosemarie Knight3h 13m$2.99 · $0.00
The Fire and the DarkIvory wild7h 51m$2.99 · $0.00
The Fire Ivory Wild4h 28mFree
THE LEDGER Josiane Prokwicz9h 24mFree
The DarkAJ Knight3h 11m$2.99
Ugly DucklingIvory F Wild13h 23m$4.99
THE PALIUWJosiane Wick 9h 14m$4.99
Birdie & HarlowTaylor Wolfe7h 50m$26 · $0.00
Santa's HusbandDaniel Kibblesmith, A P. Quach5m$4 · $0.00
The Facts of MidlifeRobyn Peterman4h 49m$15
Chaos in a CoupeDivya Dugar9h 18m$18 · $0.00
The Life of DaiDai Henwood, Jaquie Brown8h 2m$26 · $0.00
Poems of ParentingLoryn Brantz42m4 (1)$9 · $0.00
What If? 10th Anniversary EditionRandall Munroe7h 29m$23
Welcome to PawneeJim O'Heir6h 24m$24 · $0.00
Going PostalTerry Pratchett13h 36m$33 · $0.00
Mapp & Lucia: Complete SeriesE. F. Benson59h 54m$2 · $0.00
The Complete Chronicles of Barsetshire: (The Warden + Barchester Towers + Doctor Thorne + Framley Parsonage + The Small House at Allington + The Last Chronicle of Barset)Anthony Trollope140h 13m$1 · $0.00
Woman UninterruptedBrodie Kane7h 1m$24 · $0.00
Hot Cowgirl Sh*tLacie Evans2h 15m$15
The Complete Novels of Mark Twain - 12 Books in One Volume (Illustrated Edition)Mark Twain155h 29m$2 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m$24 · $0.00
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m$46 · $0.00
The Night Before Christmas at Dunder MifflinBrian Baumgartner, Ben Silverman6m$4 · $0.00
Pride & PrejudiceJane Austen14h 52m$1 · $0.00
The Complete Works of SakiSaki, H. H. Munro52h 37m$2 · $0.00
Jungle UpNick Pirog10h 8m$20
LegendSever Bronny26h 17m$30
Sherlock Holmes: Complete Novels & Stories in One VolumeArthur Conan Doyle93h 44m$2 · $0.00
Flint, Book 2Treasure Hernandez4h 13m$20
The Newly Witch GameRobyn Peterman4h 39m$15
MaelstromBethany Adams17h 6m$25
THE TWO TOWERSJ.R.R. Tolkien23h 19m$7 · $0.00
WildfireIlona Andrews12h 45m$33 · $0.00
Rumo & His Miraculous AdventuresWalter Moers24h 6m$35
Demon CopperheadBarbara Kingsolver21h 3m5 (1)$46 · $0.00
Lolth's WarriorR. A. Salvatore13h 20m$33 · $0.00
Hell to PayMichael Anderle7h 50m$20
The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du BoisHonoree Fanonne Jeffers29h 49m$8 · $0.00
Conan the Barbarian - The Complete SeriesRobert E. Howard42h 40m$2 · $0.00
The Assassins of ThasalonLois McMaster Bujold9h 59m$20
The Count of Monte CristoAlexandre Dumas52h 50m$2 · $0.00
Lola in the MirrorTrent Dalton13h 40m$33 · $0.00
Going PostalTerry Pratchett13h 36m$33 · $0.00
The Leo Tolstoy CollectionLeo Tolstoy9h 1m$12 · $0.00
The Ultimate H. Rider Haggard CollectionHenry Rider Haggard599h 19m$2 · $0.00
Sword and ShadowMichelle Sagara16h 51m$40 · $0.00
You may also like
The Holy BibleDale McConachie72h 47m$33
The God of Our FathersAldo Cazzullo9h 49m$29 · $0.00
Theophrastus's CharactersTheophrastus1h 20m$25
The Dalkey ArchiveFlann O'Brien8h 2m$1 · $0.00
The Holy Qur'an by Aslam Athar – Pickthall translation (with Sudais & Shuraym)The Holy Quran37h 40m$3 · $0.00
Debits and CreditsRudyard Kipling9h 55m$2.30
Man and SupermanGeorge Bernard Shaw9h 14m$2 · $0.00
The Praise of FollyDesiderius Erasmus3h 48m$1 · $0.00
Trips to the MoonSamosata Lucian3h 58m$2.30
The Holy Qur'an by Ibrahim Walk (Sahih International) – with Mishary Rashid AlafasyThe Holy Quran48h 3m$3 · $0.00
Hurlbut’s Story of the BibleRev. Jesse Hurlbut DD19h 31m$32
Dead LettersMaurice Baring5h 11m$2.40
KJV Holy BibleBroadStreet Publishing Group LLC96h 16m$10 · $0.00
StarlingLesley Livingston8h 1m$26 · $0.00
The Extreme New Testament Bible Trivia ChallengeTroy Schmidt6h 40m$8 · $0.00
Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original msMark Twain27m$2 · $0.00
The Brick BibleSmith, Brendan P3h 4mFree
The Life-changing Magic of a Little Bit of MessKerri Sackville4h 29m$20 · $0.00
The Holy BibleKing James99h 50m$12 · $0.00
Judaism: Sacred Texts, History, Theology & PhilosophySamuel Rapaport, Nurho de Manhar, Simeon Singer, Heinrich Graetz, Louis Ginzberg, Judah Halevi, Moses Maimonides, Abraham Cohen602h 50m$1 · $0.00