6Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,
137¶ Of the iolous man. xviii.
7FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.
138¶ Of the fatte woman that solde frute. xix.
8BY
139¶ Of a poller that begyled a prest. xx.
9W. CAREW HAZLITT,: OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
140¶ Of Papirius pretextatus. xxi.
10¶ A C. mery Talys.
141¶ Of the corrupte man of lawe. xxii.
11The Table.
142¶ Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman. xxiii.
12INTRODUCTION.
143¶ Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge. xxiiii.
13A C. MERY TALYS.
144¶ Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch. xxv.
14¶ Of hym that said there were but two commandementes. i.
145¶ Of the astronomer that theues robbed. xxvi.
15¶ Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment. ii.
146¶ Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster. xxvii.
16¶ Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell. iii.
147¶ Of him that dreamed he fonde golde. xxviii.
17¶ Of the ryche man and his two sonnes. iv.
148¶ Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a myle of. xxix.
18¶ Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment. v.
149¶ Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe. xxx.
19¶ Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute. vi.
150¶ Of the frier that brayde in his sermon. xxxi.
20¶ Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion. vii.
151¶ The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban. xxxii.
21¶ Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept. viii.
152¶ Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis. xxxiii.
22¶ Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late. ix.
153¶ The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour. xxxiiii.
23¶ Of the mylner with the golden thombe.[17] x.
154¶ Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant. xxxv.
24¶ Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere. xi.
155¶ Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord. xxxvi.
25¶ Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum. xii.
156¶ Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence. xxxvii.
26¶ Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle. xiii.
157¶ Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue. xxxviii.
27¶ Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday. xiv.
158¶ Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge. xxxix.
28¶ Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde. xv.
159¶ Of the hermite of Padowe. xl.
29¶ Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe. xvi.
160¶ Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge. xli.
30¶ Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde. xvii.
161¶ Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse. xlii.
31¶ Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male. xviii.
162¶ Of the deceytfull scriuener. xliii.
32¶ Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage. xix.
163¶ Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste. xliiii.
33¶ Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for hys soule. xx.
164¶ Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea. xlv.
34¶ Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere. xxi.
165¶ Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe. xlvi.
35¶ Of the thre wyse men of Gotam. xxii.
166¶ Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise. xlvii.
36¶ Of the graye frere that answered his penytente. xxiii.
167¶ Of the phisitian Eumonus. xlviii.
37¶ Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke. xxiv.
168¶ Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe. xlix.
38¶ Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon. xxv.
169¶ Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an asse. l.
39¶ Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne. xxvi.
170¶ Of the inholders[222] wyfe and her ii louers. li.
40¶ Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle. xxvii.
171¶ Of hym that healed franticke men. lii.
41¶ Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere. xxviii.
172¶ Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge. liii.
42¶ Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male. xxix.
173¶ Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man. liiii.
43¶ Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe. xxx.
174¶ Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme. lv.
44¶ Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii. fysshys. xxxi.
175¶ Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet. lvi.
45¶ Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone. xxxii.
176¶ Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner. lvii.
46¶ Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman. xxxiii.
177¶ Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed. lviii.
47¶ Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare. xxxiv.
178¶ Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle. lix.
48¶ Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten xxxv.
179¶ Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe. lx.
49¶ Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer. xxxvi.
180¶ The answere of Fabius to Liuius. lxi.
50¶ Of the thre men that chose the woman. xxxvii.
181¶ The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan embassadors.[246] lxii.
51¶ Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake. xxxviii.
182¶ The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye. lxiii.
52¶ Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet typet. xxxix.
183¶ The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the kynge. lxiiii.
53¶ Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntes. xl.
184¶ Of him that loued the marchants wyfe. lxv.
54¶ Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter. xli.
185¶ Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile. lxvi.
55¶ Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen. xlii.
186¶ Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette. lxvii.
56¶ Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke sweetly. xliii.
187¶ Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction. lxviii.
57¶ Of the maydes answere that was with chylde. xliv.
188¶ Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde. lxix.
58¶ Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster. xlv.
189¶ Of him that desired to be made a gentilman. lxx.
59¶ Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape. xlvi.
190¶ Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe. lxxi.
60¶ Of hym that solde ryght nought. xlvii.
191¶ Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham.[258] lxxii.
61¶ Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes. xlviii.
192¶ Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse. lxxiii.
62¶ Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money. xlix.
193¶ Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer. lxxiiii.
63¶ Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man. l.
194¶ Of hym that the olde roode fell on. lxxv.
64¶ Of the courtear and the carter. li.
195¶ Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure. lxxvi.
65¶ Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster. lii.
196¶ Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike. lxxvii.
66¶ Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria. liii.
197¶ How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man. lxxix.
67¶ Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede. liv.
198¶ Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree with stones. lxxx.
68¶ Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis. lv.
199¶ Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster. lxxxi.
69¶ Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste. lvi.
200¶ Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do. lxxxii.
70¶ Of the man of lawes sonnes answer. lvii.
201¶ Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte.[270] lxxxiii.
71¶ Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge. lviii.
202¶ Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge. lxxxiiii.
72¶ Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see. lix.
203¶ Of hym that had his goose stole. lxxxv.
73¶ Of the man that had the dome wyfe. lx.
204¶ Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone. lxxxvi.
74¶ Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe. lxi.
205¶ Of Dantes answere to the iester. lxxxvii.
75¶ Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste. lxii.
206¶ Of hym that had sore eyes.[274] lxxxviii.
76¶ Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght. lxiii.
207¶ Of the olde woman that had sore eyes. lxxxix.
77¶ Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe. lxiv.
208¶ Of hym that had the custodi of a warde. xc.
78¶ Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me. lxv.
209¶ Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children. xci.
79¶ Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw. lxvi.
210¶ Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer. xcii.
80¶ Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii. lxvii.
211¶ Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles. xciii.
81¶ Of the frere that stale the podynge.[114] lxviii.
212¶ Of the chesshire man called Eulyn. xciiii.
82¶ Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres. lxix.
213¶ Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori. xcv.
83¶ Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde. lxx.
214¶ Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of capons. xcvi.
84¶ Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote. lxxi.
215¶ Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether. xcvii.
85¶ Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote. lxxii.
216¶ Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes. xcviii.
86¶ Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were. lxxiii.
217¶ Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede. xcix.
87¶ Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed. lxxiv.
218¶ Of the fryer that confessed the woman.[287] c.
88¶ Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell.[119] lxxv.
219¶ Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer. ci.
89¶ Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe. lxxvi.
220¶ Of the same chaplen and one that spited him. cii.
90¶ Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce. lxxvii.
221¶ Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes. ciii.
91¶ Of the parson that stale the mylners elys. lxxviii.
222¶ Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde. ciiii.
92¶ Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God. lxxix.
223¶ Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men. cv.
93¶ Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule. lxxx.
224¶ Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s.[295] cvi.
94¶ Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul. lxxxi.
225¶ Of Demosthenes and Phocion. cvii.
95¶ Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn. lxxxii.
226¶ Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte. cviii.
96¶ Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny. lxxxiii.
227¶ Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne. cix.
97¶ Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well. lxxxiv.
228¶ Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates. cx.
98¶ Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope. lxxxv.
229¶ Of Titus and the iester. cxi.
99¶ Of the woman that stale the pot. lxxxvi.
230¶ Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete.[297] cxii.
100¶ Of mayster Whyttynton dreme.[134] lxxxvii.
231¶ Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne. cxiii.
101¶ Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus. lxxxviii.
232¶ Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed agaynst hym. cxiiii.
102¶ Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke. lxxxix.
233¶ Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie. cxv.
103¶ Of hym that brought a botell to a preste. xc.
234¶ Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man. cxvi.
104¶ Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth. xci.
235¶ Of the vplandishe[303] priest, that preached of Charitie. cxvii.
105¶ Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday. xcii.
236¶ Another sayinge of the same preest. cxviii.
106¶ Of the one broder that founde a purs. xciii.
237¶ Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis. cxix.
107¶ Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde. xciv.
238¶ Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water. cxx.
108¶ Of the northern man that was all harte. xcv.
239¶ Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe. cxxi.
109¶ Of the burnynge of olde John. xcvi.
240¶ Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals. cxxii.
110¶ Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde. xcvii.
241¶ Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies. cxxiii.
111¶ Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe. xcix.
242¶ Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus. cxxiv.
112¶ Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely. c.
243¶ Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia. cxxv.
113ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.: A C. MERY TALYS.
244¶ Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus. cxxvi.
114¶ Tales, and quicke answers, very mery, and pleasant to rede.
245¶ Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man.[315] cxxvii.
115Mery Tales, Wittie
246¶ Of the Canon and his man. cxxviii
116Questions
247¶ Of the same Canon and his sayd man. cxxix.
117and Quicke Answeres,: Very pleasant to be Readde.
248¶ Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng. cxxx.
118The Table.
249¶ Of the blynde man and his boye. cxxxi.
119TALES AND QUICKE ANSWERES.
250¶ Of him that sold two lodes of hey. cxxxii.
120¶ Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on foote. i.
251¶ How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe. cxxxiii.
121¶ Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day. ii.
252¶ How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought. cxxxiiii.
122¶ Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes. iii.
253¶ Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus. cxxxv.
123¶ Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons. iiii.
254¶ Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler. cxxxvi.
124¶ Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage. v.
255¶ Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher. cxxxvii.
125¶ Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe. vi.
256¶ Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller.[339] cxxxviii.
126¶ Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge. vii.
257¶ An other tale of the same frenche kyng.[340] cxxxix.
127¶ Of hym that felle into the fyre. viii.
258¶ What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng. cxl.
128¶ Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles. ix.
259ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
129¶ Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth. x.
260MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES.
130¶ Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose. xi.
261FOOTNOTES:
131¶ The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit. xii.
