Everything Is a Subscription (Including Your Sanity) - An Absurd Guide to Modern American Life
By Max Paradox
Length1h 50m
About this audiobook
Everything Is a Subscription (Including Your Sanity) is a darkly funny, painfully accurate look at modern American life - where nothing is owned, everything renews automatically, and even your peace of mind comes with a monthly fee.
From toothbrushes that judge you, to sleep apps that ruin your sleep, to subscriptions you forgot existed but still pay for every month, this book explores how convenience quietly turned into a business model built on forgetfulness, anxiety, and small recurring charges that somehow drain entire paychecks.
This isn’t a self-help book.
It won’t teach you how to budget, optimize, or escape to a cabin in the woods.
Instead, it does something more dangerous:
It notices what we all live with every day - and says it out loud.
Inside you’ll find absurd, relatable chapters about:
Free trials that are anything but free
Cancel buttons that don’t cancel
Apps designed to manage other apps
Therapy, sleep, fitness, hydration, and emotions - all monetized
Why “it’s just $4.99” is how everything breaks
Written in sharp, minimalist prose with laugh-out-loud moments and uncomfortable recognition, this book is for anyone who has ever checked their bank statement and thought:
“I don’t even remember agreeing to this.”
You don’t need to cancel anything to read this book.
It won’t auto-renew.
That alone should make you suspicious.
This publication was prepared using tools that support the creative process, including solutions based on artificial intelligence. The final concept, structure, and editing are the work of the author.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor, Other
Length1 hr 50 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateAug 25, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1INTRODUCTION - Everything Is a Subscription (Including Your Sanity)
2Chapter 1 - Welcome to the Subscription Economy (You’re Already Late)
3Chapter 2 - You Don’t Buy Things. You Rent Anxiety.
4Chapter 3 - Ownership Is a Premium Feature
5Chapter 4 - The Monthly Fee You Forgot About
Show all chaptersShow less
6Chapter 5 - The Day You Subscribed by Accident
7Chapter 6 - Toothbrushes That Judge You Monthly
8Chapter 7 - Sleeping Is Now a Service
9Chapter 8 - Meditation Apps That Stress You Out
10Chapter 9 - Paying to Drink Water Correctly
11Chapter 10 - Fitness Apps That Shame You Gently
12Chapter 11 - The Free Trial Is Not Free
13Chapter 12 - Cancel Anytime (Emotionally, You Can’t)
14Chapter 13 - Subscription to Cancel Subscriptions
15Chapter 14 - The App That Tracks Your Apps
16Chapter 15 - Notifications as a Business Model
17Chapter 16 - $4.99 Here, $9.99 There, Bankruptcy Everywhere
18Chapter 17 - Micro-Payments, Macro-Regret
19Chapter 18 - Budgeting Apps That Need a Budget
20Chapter 19 - “It’s Just One Coffee” Economics
21Chapter 20 - The Illusion of Cheapness
22Chapter 21 - Your Personality, Now Monthly
23Chapter 22 - Premium Humans vs Free Tier Humans
24Chapter 23 - Dating Apps as Recurring Trauma
25Chapter 24 - Therapy, But Make It a Subscription
26Chapter 25 - Emotional Support, Paid Annually
27Chapter 26 - Silicon Valley’s Greatest Scam (And We Love It)
28Chapter 27 - UX Designed to Confuse Your Parents
29Chapter 28 -Legal Text Nobody Reads
30Chapter 29 - The Button That Doesn’t Cancel
31Chapter 30 - Dark Patterns, Brighter Profits
32Chapter 31 - You Will Forget to Cancel This Book
33Chapter 32 - The Subscription After Death
34Chapter 33 - Legacy Plans and Family Accounts
35Chapter 34 - We Tried to Escape (There’s an App for That)
36Chapter 35 - Final Notice: Your Sanity Renewal Is Due
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