Sh*t My Dad Says
Audio only

Sh*t My Dad Says

By Justin HalpernNarrated by Sean Schemmel
Length3h 8m

About this audiobook

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is ""like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,"" has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: ""That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."" ""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."" ""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."" Almost two million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Audiobook details

GenreHumor, Self-Help
Length3 hrs 8 mins
Narrated bySean Schemmel
FormatAudiobook
Publish dateMay 4, 2010
LanguageEnglish

More from Justin Halpern

Santa's Husband
Santa's HusbandDaniel Kibblesmith, A P. Quach5m$4 · $0.00
The Facts of Midlife
The Facts of MidlifeRobyn Peterman4h 49m$15
Chaos in a Coupe
Chaos in a CoupeDivya Dugar9h 18m$18 · $0.00
The Life of Dai
The Life of DaiDai Henwood, Jaquie Brown8h 2m$26 · $0.00
Poems of Parenting
Poems of ParentingLoryn Brantz42m4 (1)$9 · $0.00
What If? 10th Anniversary Edition
What If? 10th Anniversary EditionRandall Munroe7h 29m$23
Welcome to Pawnee
Welcome to PawneeJim O'Heir6h 24m$24 · $0.00
Going Postal
Going PostalTerry Pratchett13h 36m$33 · $0.00
The Complete Chronicles of Barsetshire: (The Warden + Barchester Towers + Doctor Thorne + Framley Parsonage + The Small House at Allington + The Last Chronicle of Barset)
The Complete Chronicles of Barsetshire: (The Warden + Barchester Towers + Doctor Thorne + Framley Parsonage + The Small House at Allington + The Last Chronicle of Barset)Anthony Trollope140h 13m$1 · $0.00
Woman Uninterrupted
Woman UninterruptedBrodie Kane7h 1m$24 · $0.00
1984 & Animal Farm (Annotated)
1984 & Animal Farm (Annotated)George Orwell15h 54m$3 · $0.00
Hot Cowgirl Sh*t
Hot Cowgirl Sh*tLacie Evans2h 15m$15
The Complete Novels of Mark Twain - 12 Books in One Volume (Illustrated Edition)
The Complete Novels of Mark Twain - 12 Books in One Volume (Illustrated Edition)Mark Twain154h 17m$2 · $0.00
MAKE WAY FOR LUCIA - Complete Mapp and Lucia Series (6 Novels & 2 Short Stories)
MAKE WAY FOR LUCIA - Complete Mapp and Lucia Series (6 Novels & 2 Short Stories)E. F. Benson60h 25m$1 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This Night
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m$24 · $0.00
My Dear Hamilton
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m$46 · $0.00
The Night Before Christmas at Dunder Mifflin
The Night Before Christmas at Dunder MifflinBrian Baumgartner, Ben Silverman6m$4 · $0.00
Pride & Prejudice
Pride & PrejudiceJane Austen14h 52m$1 · $0.00
The Complete Works of Saki
The Complete Works of SakiSaki, H. H. Munro52h 37m$2 · $0.00
Jungle Up
Jungle UpNick Pirog10h 8m$20

You may also like