Length13h 16m
About this audiobook
Excerpt: "From two till four o'clock on any summer afternoon during the penultimate decade of the last century, the Right Honourable Gustavus Hilary George, third Viscount Murk, Baron Brindle and Knight of the Stews, with orders of demerit innumerable—and, over his quarterings, that bar-sinister which would appear to be designed for emphasis of the fact that the word rank has a double meaning—might be seen (in emulation of a more notable belswagger) ogling the ladies from the verandah of his house in Cavendish Square. That this, his lordship's daily habit, was rather the expression of an ineradicable self-complacency than its own justification by results, the appearance of the withered old applejohn himself gave testimony. For here, in truth, was a very doyen of dandy-cocks—a last infirmity of fribbles—a macaroni with a cuticle so hardened by the paint and powder of near fourscore years as to be impervious to the shafts of ridicule. He would blow a kiss along the palm of his palsied hand, and never misdoubt the sure flight of this missive, though his unmanageable wrist should beat a tattoo on his nose the while; he would leer through quizzing-glasses of a power to exhibit in horrible accent the rheum of his eyes; he would indite musky billets-doux, like meteorological charts, to Dolly or Dorine, and, forgetting their direction when despatched, would simper over the quiddling replies as if they were archly amorous solicitations. Upon the truth that is stranger than fiction he had looked all his life as upon an outer barbarian, the measure of whose originality was merely the measure of uncouthness. Nature, in fact, was a dealer of ridiculous limitations; art, a merchant of inexhaustible surprises. Vanity! he would quote one fifty instances in support of the fact that it was the spring-head of all history. Selfishness! was it not the first condition of organic existence? Make-believe! the whole world's system of government, from royalty to rags, was founded upon it. Therefore he constituted himself understudy to his great prototype of Queensberry; and therefore he could actually welcome the loss or deterioration of anything bodily and personal for the reason that it presented him with the opportunity to substitute mechanical perfection for natural deficiency. Perhaps at no period of his life had he so realised his ideal of existence as when, upon his seventy-seventh year, he found himself false—inside and out—from top to toe."
Audiobook details
GenreGeneral Fiction, Literary Classics
Length13 hrs 16 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateOct 13, 2022
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1BOOK I.
21CHAPTER XX.
2CHAPTER I.
22BOOK II.
3CHAPTER II.
23CHAPTER I.
4CHAPTER III.
24CHAPTER II.
5CHAPTER IV.
25CHAPTER III.
Show all chaptersShow less
6CHAPTER V.
26CHAPTER IV.
7CHAPTER VI.
27CHAPTER V.
8CHAPTER VII.
28CHAPTER VI.
9CHAPTER VIII.
29CHAPTER VII.
10CHAPTER IX.
30CHAPTER VIII.
11CHAPTER X.
31CHAPTER IX.
12CHAPTER XI.
32CHAPTER X.
13CHAPTER XII.
33CHAPTER XI.
14CHAPTER XIII.
34CHAPTER XII.
15CHAPTER XIV.
35CHAPTER XIII.
16CHAPTER XV.
36CHAPTER XIV.
17CHAPTER XVI.
37CHAPTER XV.
18CHAPTER XVII.
38CHAPTER XVI.
19CHAPTER XVIII.
39CHAPTER XVII.
20CHAPTER XIX.
40CHAPTER XVIII.
Series
More from Bernard Capes
Moll Davis A ComedyBernard Capes7h 15m$2.30
Where England Sets Her Feet, A RomanceBernard Capes10h 52m$2.30
The Story of FifineBernard Capes9h 7m$2.40
A Rogue's TragedyBernard Capes9h 36m$2.30
Adventures of the Comte de la Muette During the Reign of TerrorBernard Capes7h 56m$2.30
The Extraordinary Confessions of Diana PleaseBernard Capes10h 12m$2.30
The Skeleton KeyBernard Capes7h 21m$2.30
The Lake of WineBernard Capes13h 40m$2.30
A Jay of ItalyBernard Capes10h 21m$2.30
Desperate MeasuresBrenda Jackson8h 59m5.0 (1)$28 · $0.00
Searching For ThanksgivingS.E. Smith4h 24m$20
Naughty 4Brenda Hampton7h 30m$17
The Dance with Me TrilogyShelley Shepard Gray21h 44m$35
Anne Shirley (Complete 14 Book Collection)Lucy Maud Montgomery125h 28m$2 · $0.00
The DopemanJaQuavis Coleman5h 25m$20
Sherlock Holmes: The Ultimate CollectionArthur Conan Doyle59h 49m$5 · $0.00
Dark RisingJeffrey Wilson, Brian Andrews13h 47m$27
WhistlerAnn Patchett10h 45m4.5 (24)$29 · $0.00
Grand Opening 2Carl Weber9h 16m$20
Sons of Valor II: Violence of ActionBrian Andrews, Jeffrey Wilson12h 34m$23
Malevolent MagicMildred Abbott7h 13m$17
Bikes, Toys, and Hot BoyzGenesis Woods, Shantaé13h 9m$23
This Side of Paradise - The Original 1920 Edition (Annotated)F. Scott Fitzgerald11h 30m$2 · $0.00
War LordBernard Cornwell13h 21m$33 · $0.00
Ghetto BastardK’wan7h 37m$20
The Great Gatsby: Original 1925 Edition (An F. Scott Fitzgerald Classic NovelFrancis Scott Fitzgerald4h 45m$18 · $0.00
The Vineyard BrideKatie Winters5h 5m$15
The Fyodor Dostoyevsky Complete CollectionFyodor Dostoyevsky266h 5m5.0 (1)$200 · $0.00
Something Like LoveBeverly Jenkins10h 21m5.0 (1)$29 · $0.00
The Complete Novels of Jane Austen & Brontë Sisters (Annotated)Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë, Emily Brontë, Anne Brontë204h 15m$0.99 · $0.00
The Complete Works: Charlotte, Emily, Anne, Patrick & Branwell BrontëCharlotte Brontë, Anne Brontë, Emily Brontë138h 12m$1 · $0.00
The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde (Annotated)Oscar Wilde126h 19m$2 · $0.00
L. M. Montgomery – Premium Collection: Novels, Short Stories, Poetry & MemoirsLucy Maud Montgomery155h 1m$2 · $0.00
The Complete Works of the Brontë Family Charlotte Brontë, Emily Brontë, Anne Brontë140h 13m$2 · $0.00
MARK TWAIN: 12 Novels, 195 Short Stories, Autobiography, 10 Travel Books, 160+ Essays & Speeches (Illustrated)Mark Twain415h 9m5.0 (2)$2 · $0.00
This Side of Paradise - The Original 1920 Edition (Annotated)F. Scott Fitzgerald11h 30m$2 · $0.00
The Great Gatsby: Original 1925 Edition (An F. Scott Fitzgerald Classic NovelFrancis Scott Fitzgerald4h 45m$18 · $0.00
The Complete Works: Novels, Short Stories, Plays, Articles, Essays, Travel Sketches and Memoirs (Annotated)Anthony Trollope1096h 4m$0.99 · $0.00
Ivanhoe (Annotated)Walter Scott22h 52m$2 · $0.00
The Complete Works of G. K. Chesterton (Annotated)G. K. Chesterton421h 37m$1.99 · $0.00
All NovelsGeorge Orwell53h 48m$10 · $0.00
The Complete Works of TolstoyLeo Tolstoy412h 44m$1 · $0.00
The Complete Works of Louisa May Alcott (Annotated)Louisa May Alcott226h 24m$0.99 · $0.00
Sherlock Holmes series - completeArthur Conan54h 8m$3.50 · $0.00
The Fire Next TimeJames Baldwin2h 25m$15
The Count of Monte Cristo (With Original Illustrations)Alexandre Dumas54h$1 · $0.00
H. P. Lovecraft: The Complete Fiction (Annotated)H. P. Lovecraft50h 45m$2 · $0.00
Braving the TruthRachel Held Evans11h 31m$29 · $0.00
The Complete Novels of Charlotte Brontë (Annotated)Charlotte Brontë80h 44m$0.99 · $0.00
You may also like
The Valley of DecisionEdith Wharton16h 57m$1.20 · $0.00
The Complete Rougon-Macquart Cycle (All 20 Unabridged Novels in one volume) (Annotated)Émile Zola328h 22m$0.99 · $0.00
Charlotte Brontë: The Complete Novels (The Greatest Novelists of All Time – Book 8) (Annotated)Charlotte Brontë80h 18m$2 · $0.00
Shakespeare’s DaughterPeter W. Hassinger5h 34m$17
The Last ManMary W.18h 56m$3.50 · $0.00
The NaturewomanUpton Sinclair2h 9m$2 · $0.00
Rhoda of the UndergroundFlorence Finch Kelly9h 31m$2.30
The Old House A NovelCécile Tormay7h 11m$2.30
The School of MirrorsEva Stachniak16h 52m$40 · $0.00
The Woman Who Did (Annotated)Grant Allen5h 47m$2 · $0.00
ShirleyCharlotte Brontë23h 42m$3
The FlirtM. C. Beaton6h 10m$17
The History of England (Summarized Edition)Thomas Babington Macaulay23h 48m$2
Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy: The Major NovelsFyodor Dostoyevsky, Leo Tolstoy154h 47m$135 · $0.00
The Hermit Doctor of GayaI. A. R. Wylie15h 56m$2 · $0.00
The Captive MindCzeslaw Milosz9h 1m$20
The HuguenotG. P. R. James22h 43m$1.20 · $0.00
The Daughter of the CommandantAleksandr Sergeevich Pushkin5h 45m$2 · $0.00
Trevlyn Hold A NovelMrs. Henry Wood19h 45m$2.30
The Complete Novels of George Eliot (Annotated)George Eliot169h 40m$3 · $0.00