Length10h 58m
About this audiobook
The system is broken. Everyone knows it. Nobody can fix it.
Until a federal audit blows the whole thing apart—exposing coordinated electoral fraud reaching into both parties at once. With no legitimate government left to speak of, a desperate Congress unearths an emergency clause buried in the original Convention notes: rule by lottery. Twelve ordinary Americans, summoned like jurors, are handed the keys to the most powerful nation on earth.
A customer service rep. A teenage Twitch streamer. A school cafeteria manager. A disgraced ex-senator. No donors. No ideology. No script.
What unfolds is stranger than any pundit could have predicted—because the amateurs start working. Problems that languished for decades begin, improbably, to move. But the professionals who built this broken machine aren't stepping aside quietly. They're organized, they're funded, and they've been playing this game since before these twelve were born.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor
Length10 hrs 58 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateMar 25, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1Dedication
2Acknowledgments
3Chapter 1: The Lottery
4Chapter 2: Swearing-In on 5G
5Chapter 3: Politicians, Meet Minimum Wage
Show all chaptersShow less
6Chapter 4: Pentagon LAN Party Planning
7Chapter 5: Speaker With a Hairnet
8Chapter 6: Budget for Dummies
9Chapter 7: Lobbyist Rehab—Step 1: Admit Nothing
10Chapter 8: International Incident #1
11Chapter 9: Red Tape Speed-Run
12Chapter 10: Shadow Government Fantasy League
13Chapter 11: Pentagon Pizza & Nuclear Football
14Chapter 12: Truth-or-Dare Press Briefing
15Chapter 13: The DHS Breach
16Chapter 14: Coupon-Cut Congress
17Chapter 15: The Influence Machine
18Chapter 16: Foreign-Policy B&B
19Chapter 17: Dept. of Education Meets Roblox
20Chapter 18: Storming the DMV (with Smiles)
21Chapter 19: LAN War Games
22Chapter 20: Whistleblower Whiplash
23Chapter 21: Lobbyist Walk-Out, Public Walk-In
24Chapter 22: Capitol Paintball Tournament
25Chapter 23: The Bill That Nobody Read—Or Did They?
26Chapter 24: Establishment Summit: Plan B
27Chapter 25: Courtroom Blitz
28Chapter 26: The Disinformation War
29Chapter 27: Social Security Live / March of the Average Joes
30Chapter 28: Lobbyist Rehab Relapse
31Chapter 29: Zero Hour
32Chapter 30: The Denny’s Napkin
33Chapter 31: Graceful Exit Strategy
34Chapter 32: Epilogue: Back to the Lines
35Character Guide
36References & Bibliography
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