Length10h 58m
About this audiobook
The system is broken. Everyone knows it. Nobody can fix it.
Until a federal audit blows the whole thing apart—exposing coordinated electoral fraud reaching into both parties at once. With no legitimate government left to speak of, a desperate Congress unearths an emergency clause buried in the original Convention notes: rule by lottery. Twelve ordinary Americans, summoned like jurors, are handed the keys to the most powerful nation on earth.
A customer service rep. A teenage Twitch streamer. A school cafeteria manager. A disgraced ex-senator. No donors. No ideology. No script.
What unfolds is stranger than any pundit could have predicted—because the amateurs start working. Problems that languished for decades begin, improbably, to move. But the professionals who built this broken machine aren't stepping aside quietly. They're organized, they're funded, and they've been playing this game since before these twelve were born.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor
Length10 hrs 58 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateMar 25, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1Dedication
2Acknowledgments
3Chapter 1: The Lottery
4Chapter 2: Swearing-In on 5G
5Chapter 3: Politicians, Meet Minimum Wage
Show all chaptersShow less
6Chapter 4: Pentagon LAN Party Planning
7Chapter 5: Speaker With a Hairnet
8Chapter 6: Budget for Dummies
9Chapter 7: Lobbyist Rehab—Step 1: Admit Nothing
10Chapter 8: International Incident #1
11Chapter 9: Red Tape Speed-Run
12Chapter 10: Shadow Government Fantasy League
13Chapter 11: Pentagon Pizza & Nuclear Football
14Chapter 12: Truth-or-Dare Press Briefing
15Chapter 13: The DHS Breach
16Chapter 14: Coupon-Cut Congress
17Chapter 15: The Influence Machine
18Chapter 16: Foreign-Policy B&B
19Chapter 17: Dept. of Education Meets Roblox
20Chapter 18: Storming the DMV (with Smiles)
21Chapter 19: LAN War Games
22Chapter 20: Whistleblower Whiplash
23Chapter 21: Lobbyist Walk-Out, Public Walk-In
24Chapter 22: Capitol Paintball Tournament
25Chapter 23: The Bill That Nobody Read—Or Did They?
26Chapter 24: Establishment Summit: Plan B
27Chapter 25: Courtroom Blitz
28Chapter 26: The Disinformation War
29Chapter 27: Social Security Live / March of the Average Joes
30Chapter 28: Lobbyist Rehab Relapse
31Chapter 29: Zero Hour
32Chapter 30: The Denny’s Napkin
33Chapter 31: Graceful Exit Strategy
34Chapter 32: Epilogue: Back to the Lines
35Character Guide
36References & Bibliography
Wounds and Wonders Across the WorldBishop King2h 45m$2.99
Blood and BadgesBishop King3h 34m$2.99
TurbulenceBishop King4h 36m$2.99
The Art of FallingBishop King8h 12m$2.99
Hearts Across ContinentsBishop King8h 32m$2.99
The Kolam KillerSiva Kanth51m$2.99
The Ancient WitnessSiva Kanth8h 41m$2.99
The Ragas of RevengeSiva Kanth2h 25m$2.99
The Dublin DeceptionMichael Harrison7h 35m4.0 (19)$2.99
The Agentic RevolutionRio Vale6h 17m$2.99
The Neural RevolutionRio Vale2h 5m$2.99
Paper BillionairesAkiel Barton4h 41m$2.99
The Optimization ProtocolAkiel Barton5h 26m$2.99
The Keepers of PuharSiva Kanth8h 21m$2.99
The Space RevolutionRio Vale5h 19m$2.99
The Fusion RevolutionRio Vale7h 41m$2.99
The Biological RevolutionRio Vale6h 57m$2.99
The Robotics RevolutionRio Vale5h 55m$2.99
Against All OddsRio Vale16h 32m$2.99
The Last Letter HomeBishop King8h 39m$2.99
Lost In TranslationAudrey Davis9h 15m4.4 (235)Free
This Is Going to HurtAdam Kay5h 47m4.4 (444.7K)$24 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m4.4 (11.8K)$24 · $0.00
Northanger Abbey (Annotated)Jane Austen10h 7m4.5 (1.6K)$2 · $0.00
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m4.4 (63.6K)$46 · $0.00
THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS & SCREWTAPE PROPOSES A TOAST (Annotated)C. S. Lewis5h 6m4.4 (471K)$2 · $0.00
BufferingHannah Hart5h 55m4.4 (12.4K)$24 · $0.00
The Office BFFsJenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey8h 26m4.3 (45.4K)$26 · $0.00
The Collected Stories of Dorothy ParkerDorothy Parker8h 36m4.3 (13.6K)$1 · $0.00
LambChristopher Moore15h 22m4.3 (211.3K)$33 · $0.00
#IMomSoHardKristin Hensley, Jen Smedley7h 19m4.3 (7.3K)$24 · $0.00
Mixed PlateJo Koy8h 18m4.3 (7.1K)$26 · $0.00
Over the TopJonathan Van Ness5h 50m4.3 (87.3K)$24 · $0.00
It Never EndsTom Scharpling8h 53m4.4 (2.3K)$20 · $0.00
The Importance of Being EarnestOscar Wilde2h 31m4.3 (475.9K)$1.20 · $0.00
More Tales of the CityArmistead Maupin8h 23m4.3 (22.6K)$26 · $0.00
Joyful Recollections of TraumaPaul Scheer6h 38m4.3 (8.2K)$7 · $0.00
More Than a WomanCaitlin Moran9h 31m4.3 (16.8K)$29 · $0.00
FamesickLena Dunham11h 46m4.3 (49.7K)$29 · $0.00
Scandalous WomenGill Paul10h 46m4.4 (1.5K)$29 · $0.00
You may also like
Psmith in the CityP. G. Wodehouse5h 58m4.1 (6.3K)$2.30 · $0.00
How I Saved the WorldJesse Watters9h 26m4.4 (4.2K)$29 · $0.00
Radio GirlsSarah-Jane Stratford11h 59m3.9 (10.9K)$20
Pygmalion (Illustrated Edition)George Bernard Shaw9h 20m4.1 (236.8K)$2 · $0.00
The Voice That Challenged a NationRussell Freedman2h 5m4.3 (2.6K)$16 · $0.00
The Women's MarchJennifer Chiaverini10h 51m3.8 (7.3K)$29 · $0.00
Radio GirlsSarah-Jane Stratford11h 59m3.9 (14.2K)$23
Unseen AcademicalsTerry Pratchett15h 10m4.1 (83.9K)$33 · $0.00
2024Vijai Trivedi, Rajdeep Sardesai24h 56m4.1 (465)$53 · $0.00
Arrowsmith & It Can't Happen HereSinclair Lewis35h 7m4.1 (1.3K)$1 · $0.00
PsmithP. G. Wodehouse40h 28m4.1 (5.4K)$1 · $0.00
ParklandDave Cullen10h 10m3.9 (8.4K)$29 · $0.00
Smile and Look PrettyAmanda Pellegrino9h 37m3.7 (5.1K)$29 · $0.00
UnfadeableMaurice Broaddus6h 9m4.1 (349)$24 · $0.00
Glitter and ConcreteElyssa Maxx Goodman12h 10m4.3 (470)$29 · $0.00
Revolution 2.0Wael Ghonim11h 54m4.1 (2.6K)$23 · $0.00
MoranifestoCaitlin Moran10h 33m4.1 (5.6K)$29 · $0.00
The Scandal of the Century, and Other WritingsGabriel García Márquez, Cristóbal Pera10h 59m4.4 (1.2K)$20
CooKaela Noel7h 59m4.3 (1.7K)$26 · $0.00
Working 9 to 5Ellen Cassedy7h 57m4.3 (165)$20