Length2h 16m
About this audiobook
Carl and Dale share a windowless office at the exact center of nowhere — two identical desks facing each other like rival tombstones, under fluorescent lights that never stop buzzing. Their jobs are the same. Their pay is the same. Even their boss treats them like one interchangeable problem. Across twenty-three episodes and a scatter of interludes, they wage a slow, absurd war on each other and on the void — armed with meat cleavers, chainsaws, brass knuckles, a flamethrower, and an endless supply of things to say that shouldn't be said out loud. It is a book about two men with nothing left but the words they're allowed to use on each other, in a room with no windows, at the exact center of nowhere. Preposterously undeniable calm madness.
Audiobook details
GenreHumor
Length2 hrs 16 mins
Narrated byRecorded Track
FormatAudiobook
Publish dateSep 17, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1Prologue
2Episode One: In the Middle of Nowhere
3Episode Two: BlackMess & The 50-Lap Purgatory
4Episode Three: StereoFights & Power Tools
5Episode Four: Thrones
Mostrar todos os capítulosVer menos
6Episode Five: Immortal
7Episode Six: DuoTone & The Human Eraser
8Episode Seven: IvoryEnvy & The Mask of Command
9Interlude: VI2
10Episode Eight: Magnum & The Tetanus Peace Treaty
11Episode Nine: SelfContra & The Ballistics of Failure
12Episode Ten: Doodles & The Atmospheric Audit
13Interlude: Lucky Carl
14Episode Eleven: The Architecture of the Void
15Episode Twelve: Shock Jocks & The Recursive Loop
16Interlude: Inevitable: The Gravity of the Ghost
17Episode Thirteen: Dale's Do-Over
18Interlude: Job Interview
19Interlude: Best Ever
20Episode Fourteen: BlackMess & The 50-Lap Purgatory (Reprise)
21Episode Fifteen: Dreamers & The Kazoo of Destiny
22Episode Sixteen: The Sovereignty of the Slur
23Episode Seventeen: Magnitude & The Zero-Point Energy Field
24Interlude: The Illusion of Us & The Sovereignty of the Awake
25The Bio: Carl
26The Bio: Dale
27Episode Eighteen: High School Rules
28Episode Nineteen: Serial Killers
29Interlude: The President of Nothing
30Episode Twenty: Carl's Cuckold
31Episode Twenty-One: Tarnished Wood
32Episode Twenty-Two: The Chinway Report
33Interlude: Fun
34Episode Twenty-Three: Half Full
35Interlude: 19:95$
36Interlude: Bleak
Lost In TranslationAudrey Davis9h 15m4.4 (235)Free
This Is Going to HurtAdam Kay5h 47m4.4 (444.7K)$24 · $0.00
You Will Get Through This NightDaniel Howell6h 56m4.4 (11.8K)$24 · $0.00
Northanger Abbey (Annotated)Jane Austen10h 7m4.5 (1.6K)$2 · $0.00
My Dear HamiltonStephanie Dray, Laura Kamoie23h 7m4.4 (63.6K)$46 · $0.00
THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS & SCREWTAPE PROPOSES A TOAST (Annotated)C. S. Lewis5h 6m4.4 (471K)$2 · $0.00
BufferingHannah Hart5h 55m4.4 (12.4K)$24 · $0.00
The Office BFFsJenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey8h 26m4.3 (45.4K)$26 · $0.00
The Collected Stories of Dorothy ParkerDorothy Parker8h 36m4.3 (13.6K)$1 · $0.00
LambChristopher Moore15h 22m4.3 (211.3K)$33 · $0.00
#IMomSoHardKristin Hensley, Jen Smedley7h 19m4.3 (7.3K)$24 · $0.00
Mixed PlateJo Koy8h 18m4.3 (7.1K)$26 · $0.00
Over the TopJonathan Van Ness5h 50m4.3 (87.3K)$24 · $0.00
It Never EndsTom Scharpling8h 53m4.4 (2.3K)$20 · $0.00
The Importance of Being EarnestOscar Wilde2h 31m4.3 (475.9K)$1.20 · $0.00
More Tales of the CityArmistead Maupin8h 23m4.3 (22.6K)$26 · $0.00
Joyful Recollections of TraumaPaul Scheer6h 38m4.3 (8.2K)$7 · $0.00
More Than a WomanCaitlin Moran9h 31m4.3 (16.8K)$29 · $0.00
FamesickLena Dunham11h 46m4.3 (49.7K)$29 · $0.00
Scandalous WomenGill Paul10h 46m4.4 (1.5K)$29 · $0.00
You may also like
Exterminator!William S. Burroughs4h 57m3.8 (3.7K)$17
Shooting an elephantGeorge Orwell20m4.2 (12.6K)$2 · $0.00
A Madman’s Diary, and Other StoriesLu Xun10h4.1 (3.2K)$20
The Complete Works of George OrwellGeorge Orwell114h 54m4.5 (253)$1 · $0.00
No Way Out (Annotated)U. G. Krishnamurti9h 28m4.4 (329)$2 · $0.00
Bartleby the Scrivener — A Story of Wall-StreetHerman Melville3h4.0 (95.7K)$2 · $0.00
WeYevgeny Zamyatin9h 12m4.0 (140.8K)$29 · $0.00
THE COMPLETE NOVELLAS & SHORT STORIES OF FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKYFyodor Dostoyevsky70h 34m4.6 (2.1K)$1.99 · $0.00
The Double - Psychological Thriller (Classic Unabridged Edition) (Annotated)Fyodor Dostoyevsky8h 29m4.4 (1.2K)$2 · $0.00
Post OfficeCharles Bukowski4h 33m4.0 (167.2K)$20 · $0.00
Hard TimesCharles Dickens11h 25m3.7 (97.9K)$1.80 · $0.00
America FantasticaTim O'Brien13h 40m3.5 (5.8K)$33 · $0.00
Collected WorksFranz Kafka4h 41m4.3 (1K)$4 · $0.00
The Hairy ApeEugene O'Neill1h 43m3.7 (5.7K)$2.30
The Lords of DisciplinePat Conroy19h 23m4.4 (41.2K)$40 · $0.00
The TrialFranz Kafka7h 46m4.1 (475.5K)$17
Torture GardenOctave Mirbeau7h 12m3.7 (3.4K)$1 · $0.00
Beautiful Country Burn AgainBen Fountain14h 34m4.1 (1K)$33 · $0.00
The DoubleFyodor Dostoevsky6h 40m3.8 (50.6K)$20
Arrowsmith & It Can't Happen HereSinclair Lewis35h 7m4.1 (1.3K)$1 · $0.00