Guests Will Be Here in Two Hours, and I Just Noticed the Floor - How to Get Your Home, Food, and Yourself Ready for a Visit Without a Full Renovation, Twelve Courses, or Pretending It Always Looks Like This

By Max Paradox
Listen with Sir Michael Caine™ and 1,000+ voices
Length6h 56m

About this audiobook

Guests Will Be Here in Two Hours, and I Just Noticed the Floor is a practical guide to preparing for a visit without spending the entire evening recovering from the preparations. Max Paradox explores the gap between what guests actually need and the elaborate inspection you have imagined they are about to conduct.   Guests arrive in two hours, and you have decided to clean everything you own. This funny, practical guide explores useful priorities, realistic food plans, shared tasks, and ways to make the host part of the evening.   You will learn how to choose the rooms and tasks that matter, prepare simple food without turning the visit into a catering project, share responsibilities, and welcome people without staging a domestic marathon. The aim is a calm, workable visit that still leaves room for conversation.

Audiobook details

GenreOther
Length6 hrs 56 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateSep 25, 2026
LanguageEnglish

Table of contents

1INTRO
2Chapter 1 - You Are Not Cleaning the House. You Are Preparing for Guests
3Chapter 2 - Your Guests Are Not Coming to Grade You
4Chapter 3 - Time First, Ambition Second
5Chapter 4 - Do Not Cook for a Restaurant You Do Not Own
Mostrar todos os capítulos
6Chapter 5 - The Store Can Eat Half Your Preparation Time
7Chapter 6 - You Also Have to Be Ready
8Chapter 7 - Help Is Useless If You Have to Manage Every Breath
9Chapter 8 - A Plan That Only Works Perfectly Does Not Work
10Chapter 9 - Finish One Zone Before You Wander Into Another
11Chapter 10 - Let the House Do Some of the Hosting
12Chapter 11 - Comfortable Beats Impressive
13Chapter 12 - Do Not Serve the Entire Evening in the First Ten Minutes
14Chapter 13 - You Do Not Have to Host the Conversation Too
15Chapter 14 - A Good Visit Still Has to End
16Chapter 15 - When Something Goes Wrong, Do Not Ruin the Rest of the Evening
17Chapter 16 - Not Every Day Deserves the Full Hosting Package
18Chapter 17 - Do Not Perform an Autopsy on Every Visit
19Chapter 18 - Build a Home You Can Get Guest-Ready Fast
20Chapter 19 - Stop Turning Every Visit Into a Special Operation
21Chapter 20 - Let People In Before Everything Is Perfect
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