Length4h 51m
About this audiobook
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
Audiobook details
Rating★★★ 3.2 (4.3K)
Includes Goodreads, StoryGraph
GenreHorror, Mystery and Thriller, General Fiction
Length4 hrs 51 mins
Narrated byAndrew Eiden
FormatAudiobook
Publish dateJan 28, 2025
LanguageEnglish
The Renegade HunterLynsay Sands10h 7m4.4 (17.3K)$29 · $0.00
Lost GodsBrom14h 50m4.4 (18.5K)$33 · $0.00
The AccusedJana DeLeon6h 32m4.4 (3.9K)$12 · $0.00
Corpus HermeticumHermes Trismegistus3h 43m4.4 (8.6K)$7 · $0.00
LambChristopher Moore15h 22m4.3 (211.3K)$33 · $0.00
CARMILLA (Gothic Classic) (Annotated)Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu4h 2m4.4 (1K)$1.99 · $0.00
The ExorcistWilliam Peter Blatty12h 52m4.3 (285.9K)$8 · $0.00
Lost ValleyWalt Browning7h 47m4.3 (5.4K)$20 · $0.00
Twice TemptedJeaniene Frost8h 17m4.3 (54.8K)$26 · $0.00
Scared to BreatheKerena Swan10h 56m4.4 (1.7K)$13.60 · $0.00
1984George Orwell12h 18m4.3 (6M)$25 · $0.00
The Best Tales of Edgar Allan PoeEdgar Allan Poe5h 19m4.4 (2.2K)$1 · $0.00
A Christmas CarolCharles Dickens3h 7m4.3 (1.1M)$5 · $0.00
Hollywood DeadRichard Kadrey9h 22m4.3 (5.5K)$29 · $0.00
Frankenstein (The Uncensored 1818 Edition) (Annotated)Mary Shelley9h 25m4.3 (1.7M)$3 · $0.00
The Collected Ghost StoriesM. R. James18h 30m4.3 (12.1K)$2 · $0.00
Jane Eyre (Annotated)Charlotte Brontë22h 44m4.2 (2.4M)$2 · $0.00
The Chance of a Lifetime (Musaicum Romance Classics)Grace Livingston Hill8h 27m4.3 (862)$1 · $0.00
Heat 2Michael Mann, Meg Gardiner18h 39m4.3 (20.9K)$40 · $0.00
The Silence of Bonaventure ArrowRita Leganski11h 23m4.3 (7.5K)$29 · $0.00
Crime and Punishment (The Unabridged Garnett Translation) (Annotated)Fyodor Dostoevsky24h 25m4.5 (15.4K)$1.99 · $0.00
Three ComradesErich Maria Remarque15h 50m4.5 (47.3K)$2 · $0.00
AngelAnita Waller10h 30m4.6 (672)$30 · $0.00
The BorderDon Winslow29h 8m4.5 (35.7K)$53 · $0.00
FlashpointCatherine Coulter11h 38m4.5 (11.6K)$29 · $0.00
The Gothic Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated Edition)Edgar Allan Poe21h 5m4.5 (2.9K)$1.99 · $0.00
The Man in the Brown Suit & They Came to BaghdadAgatha Christie15h 43m4.6 (495)$33 · $0.00
Fang Si-Chi's First Love ParadiseYi-Han Lin8h 25m4.5 (4K)$26 · $0.00
The Rose CodeKate Quinn16h 2m4.4 (493.7K)$33 · $0.00
No Woman Left BehindJulie Moffett8h 49m4.5 (3K)$25 · $0.00
CovertJanie Crouch6h 15m4.5 (2K)$12 · $0.00
Cold Case InvestigationNicole Helm5h 30m4.6 (321)$5 · $0.00
The ReunionJana DeLeon6h 31m4.5 (1.6K)$12 · $0.00
Courage Under FireSharon Dunn5h 50m4.5 (730)$24 · $0.00
Decoding the TruthJulie Miller7h 31m4.6 (350)$12 · $0.00
Murder Gone ColdB.J. Daniels5h 50m4.5 (562)$12 · $0.00
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky22h 22m4.4 (1.3M)$0.60 · $0.00
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoyevsky23h 14m4.4 (1.3M)$1 · $0.00
Exit FeeBrad Taylor3h 16m4.5 (1.9K)$18 · $0.00
Sworn to ProtectShirlee McCoy5h 7m4.5 (1K)$12 · $0.00
WhistlerAnn Patchett10h 45m4.6 (4.6K)$29 · $0.00
Demon CopperheadBarbara Kingsolver21h 3m4.5 (949.4K)$46 · $0.00
To Kill a MockingbirdHarper Lee12h 18m4.5 (7.4M)$29 · $0.00
Remarkably Bright CreaturesShelby Van Pelt11h 17m4.4 (1.7M)$29 · $0.00
Cast in BloodMichelle Sagara16h 35m4.6 (607)$33 · $0.00
The Captain Blood Trilogy (Annotated)Rafael Sabatini29h 20m4.6 (1K)$3 · $0.00
Ship of the Line (Annotated)Cecil Louis Troughton Smith11h 13m4.6 (1K)$2 · $0.00
The George Orwell CollectionGeorge Orwell24h 46m4.5 (14.4K)$12 · $0.00
Time RegainedMarcel Proust15h 38m4.5 (9.2K)$2 · $0.00
Driving ForceElle James4h 58m4.6 (407)$20 · $0.00
When God Calls the HeartBrian Bird, Michelle Cox3h 24m4.6 (439)$10 · $0.00
Five Little IndiansMichelle Good10h 34m4.5 (64.5K)$29 · $0.00
Lolth's WarriorR. A. Salvatore13h 20m4.6 (2.4K)$33 · $0.00
The Things We Cannot SayKelly Rimmer13h 48m4.5 (359.1K)$33 · $0.00
The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du BoisHonoree Fanonne Jeffers29h 49m4.5 (58K)$8 · $0.00
Going PostalTerry Pratchett11h 23m4.5 (189.9K)$29 · $0.00
Glen AffricKarine Giebel22h 51m4.5 (3.2K)$46 · $0.00
The Book Of NegroesLawrence Hill15h 45m4.5 (107.3K)$33 · $0.00
Anne of Green GablesL. M. Montgomery11h 1m4.5 (1.2M)$2.30 · $0.00
Lieutenant Hornblower (Annotated)C. S. Forester11h 41m4.5 (2.9K)$2 · $0.00
You may also like
HavocChristopher Bollen10h 59m3.6 (11.1K)$29 · $0.00
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoevsky23h 11m4.4 (1.3M)$12 · $0.00
Tearing Down the Wall of SoundMick Brown17h 36m3.9 (1.2K)$25 · $0.00
SourlandJoyce Carol Oates14h 17m3.7 (1.3K)$33 · $0.00
We Have Always Lived in the CastleShirley Jackson5h 33m4.1 (394.2K)$14
Crime and Punishment (The Unabridged Garnett Translation) (Annotated)Fyodor Dostoevsky24h 25m4.5 (15.4K)$1.99 · $0.00
We, the JuryRobert Rotstein8h 12m3.6 (3.8K)$20
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoevsky21h 47m4.4 (1.2M)$13 · $0.00
The Brothers KaramazovFyodor Dostoyevsky45h 41m4.5 (474.9K)$1 · $0.00
Shadow CountryPeter Matthiessen40h 21m4.1 (8.7K)$40
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoyevsky20h 57m4.4 (1.2M)$18 · $0.00
Pretty BabyMary Kubica12h 7m3.8 (131.6K)$29 · $0.00
Sister of MineLaurie Petrou7h 10m3.7 (4.9K)$20 · $0.00
The Female of the SpeciesMindy McGinnis7h 8m4.3 (51.9K)$24 · $0.00
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoyevsky24h 4m4.4 (1.2M)$1.99 · $0.00
The Man with the Golden ArmNelson Algren14h 26m4.0 (4K)$25
John WomanWalter Mosley10h 58m3.5 (2.3K)$20
Holy BoyLee Heejoo9h 27m3.3 (993)$29 · $0.00
DarkroomsRebecca Hannigan10h 42m3.4 (847)$29 · $0.00
A Little Bit BadCassandra Neyenesch10h 20m3.6 (375)$29 · $0.00