Where Is the Fire Extinguisher, and Why Am I Only Asking Now? - How to Prepare Your Home for Emergencies, Power Outages, and Other Surprises Before You Actually Need Plan B
By Max Paradox
Length5h 7m
About this audiobook
The lights go out. Your phone has fourteen percent battery. The torch is on the phone, the useful numbers are on the phone and apparently your entire emergency strategy is also on the phone. Somewhere, you own a power bank. Whether it is charged belongs to a more philosophical discussion.
Where Is the Fire Extinguisher, and Why Am I Only Asking Now? is a practical guide to preparing your home for disruptions before they demand your full attention. Max Paradox explores power cuts, interrupted water supplies, heating problems, alarms, severe weather, lost internet access and the ordinary ways one failure can create several more.
The book begins with understanding the home and the people who live in it. What matters most if power or water stops? Where are the essential items? Who knows how to find the relevant information? A useful plan considers children, older relatives, animals and differing needs.
You will explore sensible supplies, accessible equipment, reliable information, shared responsibilities and arrangements for leaving home when staying is no longer safe. Buying an item is only one part of preparation. Knowing where it is, understanding its intended use and checking that it remains usable matter too.
Written with dry humour and familiar domestic scenes, this is for readers who want a workable Plan B without making emergency planning their entire personality. The aim is having fewer basic decisions left to invent in the dark.
This publication was prepared using tools that support the creative process, including artificial intelligence solutions. The final concept, structure and editing are the responsibility of the author.
Audiobook details
GenreOther
Length5 hrs 7 mins
Narrated byListen with 1,000+ voices
FormateBook with Audio
Publish dateOct 16, 2026
LanguageEnglish
Table of contents
1INTRO
2Chapter 1 - Don't Prepare for the Apocalypse
3Chapter 2 - Your Home Needs an Owner's Manual
4Chapter 3 - One Failure Likes to Bring Friends
5Chapter 4 - Don't Fix the World in the First Minute
Show all chaptersShow less
6Chapter 5 - Stock What You’ll Actually Use
7Chapter 6 - Buying It Does Not Train You
8Chapter 7 - Don’t Be the Only Person Who Knows
9Chapter 8 - Sometimes the Safe Plan Is to Leave
10Chapter 9 - When the House Goes Quiet
11Chapter 10 - When the Tap and the Heat Both Quit
12Chapter 11 - When the Alarm Means It
13Chapter 12 - Weather Does Not Check Your Calendar
14Chapter 13 - When the Internet Goes Quiet
15Chapter 14 - Switch to Minimum Mode
16Chapter 15 - When Plan B Has a Bad Day
17Chapter 16 - Your Home Does Not End at the Front Door
18Chapter 17 - Don’t Make Big Decisions on Empty
19Chapter 18 - Plans Age Quietly
20Chapter 19 - Practice Before Life Does It for You
21Chapter 20 - Ready Enough
The Renovation Was Supposed to Take Two Weeks, and Now I Live at Castorama - How to Plan a Renovation, Keep the Budget and Contractors Under Control, and Not Lose Your Patience While Choosing the Twentieth Shade of WhiteMax Paradox8h 10m$7.70 · $0.00
The Suitcase Won’t Close, and I’m Still Packing “Just in Case” - How to Pack Faster, Take What You Actually Need, and Stop Hauling Half Your Home on a Three-Day TripMax Paradox6h 31m$7.70 · $0.00
Rodzinne Spotkanie Znowu Zamieniło Się w Przesłuchanie - Jak stawiać granice rodzinie, odpowiadać na niewygodne pytania i przeżyć święta bez trzydniowego dochodzenia do siebieMax Paradox5h 54m$7.70 · $0.00
The Washing Machine Has Seventeen Programs, and I Use One - How to Wash, Dry, and Care for Clothes Without Shrinking Sweaters, Dyeing Whites, or Studying Care Labels Like Ancient HieroglyphsMax Paradox6h 18m$7.70 · $0.00
Walizka Się Nie Domyka, a Ja Wciąż Pakuję „Na Wszelki Wypadek” - Jak pakować się szybciej, brać to, czego naprawdę potrzebujesz, i przestać wozić połowę domu na trzydniowy wyjazdMax Paradox4h 51m$7.70 · $0.00
Straciłem Pracę. Świetnie, Tego Mi Brakowało - Jak ogarnąć pierwsze tygodnie, pieniądze, CV i szukanie nowej pracy bez traktowania zwolnienia jak końca świataMax Paradox5h 9m$7.70 · $0.00
Znowu Zapomniałem o Urodzinach Kogoś Ważnego - Jak ogarnąć urodziny, rocznice, prezenty i drobne zobowiązania wobec bliskich bez zamieniania relacji w drugi kalendarz służbowyMax Paradox4h 22m$7.70 · $0.00
My Neighbors Have Ideas About My Life Again - How to Deal with Noise, Conflicts and Shared Spaces Without Moving to a Desert IslandMax Paradox7h 33m$7.70 · $0.00
The Family Gathering Turned Into an Interrogation Again - How to Set Boundaries with Your Family, Answer Uncomfortable Questions, and Get Through the Holidays Without Needing Three Days to RecoverMax Paradox7h 38m$7.70 · $0.00
My Home Won't Sort Itself Out, Unfortunately - How to Divide Household Chores and Stop Remembering Everything for EveryoneMax Paradox7h 7m$7.70 · $0.00
Muszę Zadzwonić. Wolałbym Wysłać Gołębia - Jak przestać odkładać telefony, przygotować się do trudnych rozmów i załatwiać sprawy bez godzinnego wpatrywania się w przycisk „zadzwoń”Max Paradox5h 38m$7.70 · $0.00
Remont Miał Potrwać Dwa Tygodnie, a Ja Już Mieszkam w Castoramie - Jak zaplanować remont, pilnować budżetu i wykonawców oraz nie stracić cierpliwości przy wyborze dwudziestego odcienia bieliMax Paradox6h 48m$7.70 · $0.00
Pralka Ma Siedemnaście Programów, a Ja Używam Jednego - Jak prać, suszyć i dbać o ubrania bez kurczenia swetrów, farbowania białych rzeczy i studiowania metek jak starożytnych hieroglifówMax Paradox5h 24m$7.70 · $0.00
The Electricity Bill Looks Like a Ransom Note - How to Cut Household Energy Use, Find the Biggest Power Hogs, and Save Money Without Sitting in the Dark Wearing Three SweatersMax Paradox4h 56m$7.70 · $0.00
Rachunek za Prąd Wygląda Jak Żądanie Okupu - Jak ograniczyć domowe zużycie energii, znaleźć największych pożeraczy prądu i oszczędzać bez siedzenia po ciemku w trzech swetrachMax Paradox5h$7.70 · $0.00
I’ll Be There in Five Minutes. Meaning Twenty - How to Stop Being Late, Plan Your Departures Realistically, and Leave Yourself a Time Buffer Without Setting Five Fake AlarmsMax Paradox7h 7m$7.70 · $0.00
My Closet Is Full and I Have Nothing to Wear - How to Organize Your Clothes, Buy Less, and Finally Know What to Wear Without a Morning Crisis in Front of the MirrorMax Paradox6h 56m$7.70 · $0.00
My Friends Somehow Disappeared Between Work and Life - How to Maintain Adult Friendships, Meet New People, and Stop Postponing Every Get-Together Until “Someday”Max Paradox6h 56m$7.70 · $0.00
Mam Tysiąc Zdjęć i Nie Mogę Znaleźć Żadnego - Jak uporządkować cyfrowy bałagan, zdjęcia, dokumenty i pliki bez poświęcania na to reszty życiaMax Paradox5h 11m$7.70 · $0.00
Mere ChristianityC. S. Lewis7h 7m4.4 (519.7K)$24 · $0.00
Her Daily BreadKate Wood12h 57m4.6 (153)$33 · $0.00
The Holy Bible - 1 SamuelKing James2h 13m4.8 (1.6K)$3 · $0.00
The American Standard Bible — The Gospel of MatthewMatthew3h 56m4.7 (3K)$2 · $0.00
Bad Fat Black GirlSesali Bowen6h 32m4.7 (2.8K)$24 · $0.00
The King James Audio Bible New Testament CompleteChristopher Glyn20h 2m4.7 (2.6K)$12 · $0.00
Faiths CheckbookCharles Spurgeon12h 44m4.7 (3.2K)$11 · $0.00
Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental HealthDr. Billy Garvey4h 53m4.7 (2.4K)$20 · $0.00
Designing Terry Pratchett’s DiscworldPaul Kidby3h 52m4.7 (343)$20 · $0.00
The Chosen Book OneAmanda Jenkins, Kristen Hendricks, Dallas Jenkins3h 8m4.6 (4.9K)$10 · $0.00
The Lives of BrianBrian Johnson9h 45m4.6 (3.5K)$29 · $0.00
Expository Thoughts on the Gospel of LukeJ.C. Ryle27h 13m4.7 (536)$18 · $0.00
CrossroadsKaleb Dahlgren7h 56m4.6 (4.9K)$26 · $0.00
Across the RiverKent Babb11h 40m4.6 (927)$29 · $0.00
Brain Training for RidersAndrea Monsarrat Waldo5h 56m4.7 (550)$19 · $0.00
My Effin' LifeGeddy Lee17h 11m4.6 (13.1K)$40 · $0.00
Kings and PawnsHoward Bryant10h 9m4.6 (678)$29 · $0.00
The Elementia Chronicles #2: The New OrderSean Fay Wolfe11h 17m4.6 (841)$29 · $0.00
The ActsLuke2h 55m4.6 (19.7K)$12 · $0.00
New Testament - Easy NavigationWorld English Bible19h 35m4.6 (1.3K)$1.30 · $0.00
You may also like
The Doorbell RangPat Hutchins4m4.3 (11.9K)$4 · $0.00
I PromiseLeBron James5m4.4 (13.4K)$4 · $0.00
Creating a World without PovertyMuhammad Yunus10h 15m4.1 (3.5K)$20 · $0.00
The Baby Sleep BookWilliam Sears MD, Robert W. Sears MD, FAAP, James Sears MD, Martha Sears RN11h 15m3.9 (1.6K)$23
Zig Ziglar’s Leadership & Success SeriesMade for Success7h 31m4.3 (715)$30
Idaho RBT Certification Exam Prep 2026/2027Mireille Oyelaran15h 39m$22
Salads, Sandwiches and Chafing-Dish DaintiesJanet McKenzie Hill7h 29m3.8 (20)$1 · $0.00
Oopsie-do!Tim Kubart2m4.1 (162)$4 · $0.00
Men's Devotion for Dads 2026Kenneth C. Spears3h 25m$6
Better BabiesAnna Steese Richardson6h 4m$2.30
Quick and Nutritious Baby Food Recipes for Busy ParentsAurora Brooks1h 4m$3.50 · $0.00
A Fairy Tale Wedding (On A Shoestring Budget)Peggy D. Mercer2h 3m$2.30
Unleash Your Inner Party Planner- DIY Baby Shower Decor IdeasAurora Brooks53m$3.50 · $0.00
The Bobbsey Twins at Cedar CampLaura Lee Hope4h 47m4.1 (237)$2 · $0.00
Delicious home-baked GiftsNaumann & Göbel Verlag3h 4m$5 · $0.00
Colorado RBT Certification Exam Prep 2026/2027Mireille Oyelaran17h 4m$22
Strategies for Dealing with Picky EatersAurora Brooks55m$3.50 · $0.00
How to Plan a Surprise Baby Shower- Tips and Tricks for Pulling It OffAurora Brooks1h 5m$3.50 · $0.00
The value of a praying motherIsabel C. Byrum2h 41m4.4 (65)$1 · $0.00
The Enlightened CapitalistsJames O'Toole19h 5m4.1 (170)$40 · $0.00